Innocence Lost
by not done baking
Summary: Mike takes advantage of an Edwardless Bella at a bonfire near First Beach. Will Edward be able to help Bella realize that nothing is her fault? And how will Bella feel about their relationship now? EB, MultiPOV. Involves rape, not graphic. post New Moon
1. Chapter One: Bella's POV

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own anything here. I'm sure you can figure out who owns them. c: Unless you don't recognize it and I don't give credit for it… then I own it. (Because this was original at the time of original posting, I do take credit for the research that went into this and the plot line.) _

Author's Note:

_ Okay, so yet another dark ficlet… well, not really a ficlet, anyway… with all the dark ficlets you would begin to think that I really hate Bella. I don't. I love Bella, I relate to her… minus the hot boyfriend… or boyfriend in general. le sigh._

_So, I've decided that I'm finally going to **explore an Edward POV**… so every other chapter will be from Edward's POV. Bella than Edward than Bella than Edward, you get it?_

_**Edward's chapter will be shorter** due to me having a hard time writing his emotions and not really understanding where he comes from and such. Also, I'm from southern California, I live three minutes from the beach. I have to try really hard to keep the words 'like' and 'totally' out of my characters vocab._

_**I don't know how far I am going to take this fic**, so we'll just see where I stop. Be sure to check out my other stories. So, after you read the next chapters click the review button and then click on my user name!_

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**Innocence Lost; Chapter One  
**

"Um, Jessica invited me to go down to First Beach with everyone this Friday, it's supposed to be sunny," part of me desperately wanted to go with everyone to the beach, but another part of me didn't want to leave Edward for the night.

Ditching sixth period had become a bit of a habit for both of us, with Charlie's new rules and stricter visiting hours (none) time between Edward and I was dwindling down. Edward still came over when I went to bed, but after spending multiple nights talking till dawn I began to fall asleep in class. And although I was willing to take that consequence Edward didn't want to watch me fail classes.

Besides, it was just PE. Who knew how convenient having a boyfriend whose father was a doctor would be, Edward had connived him into writing me a note and all of the sudden I was out of PE. Edward had said something about having to work extra hours at the hospital, but he didn't seem to worried about the penalty of spending more time with me.

I was sure Charlie would let me out of the house to socialize with people besides Edward.

He still thought Edward was dangerous for me, okay, he was right. But Edward was a danger I was willing to play with.

"Are you asking permission?" he seemed surprised.

"I guess," I leaned against him in the parked car. We had ditched sixth period (PE) and had been enjoying the peace and comfort found in the car and in a CD of Edward's favorite sonatas.

"Oh, silly Bella, you don't need to ask permission," he was obviously amused by me 'sillyness.'

I could tell that I was blushing and he chuckled more out of enjoyment, "Well, I just thought that it would be a polite thing to do. I mean, you ask me if you can go hunting? And that's something that's quite necessary."

"Bella, you don't need to ask me permission if you want to socialize," he turned the music down and placed his hand back on mine, "I'm assuming that trio of raging hormones will be there?" meaning Eric, Tyler and Mike.

"Oh, yes," I said dryly, although Edward knew he was the only person in my picture currently, he still wasn't fond of having that certain trio around me, "You've seen through my scheme, I'm simply going to meet up with those guys cause you just aren't man enough for me."

Edward sighed, not finding my humor the least bit funny, "It's not what you'll do Bella, it's what they'll do. You can't see what they are thinking in their minds and believe me I'm glad that you can't, you shouldn't have to hear what they are thinking. But, what I hear, it worries me."

I was sure Edward had every right to be worried, but it was still annoying, "I'll be fine, Edward. Jessica and Angela and everyone will be there, you don't need to be worried," I was tempted to tell him to go have a guys night out with Emmett and Jasper or something, but I knew sending him out would be futile. Edward would continue to worry about me and I was sure Jasper wouldn't appreciate spending quality time with him when worry was echoing off of him faster than aftershocks after an earthquake.

"Take a phone?" Edward said, kissing the side of my head in our embrace. I nodded my head and Edward leaned over to the glove box and pulled a silver cell phone out, flipping it open and turning it on, "Call me for anything?"

"Edward, I'll be fine," the bell rang from outside and students began to gather in the parking lot, making plans for the up coming weekend. Edward fluidly pulled the car out of the tight parking space and began to speed down the street.

"What time are you going down there?"

"Around eight," here came the waterfall of questions.

"After dark?" he sounded worried.

I sighed, "Yes, generally when the sun goes down it gets dark. And there's not much fun in having a bonfire during the day time."

"Bella," he warned, obviously not appreciating my sarcastic tone, "You know that Victoria is still out there."

"I highly doubt she would try to off me in front of ump-teen other people and on werewolf territory," Edward slowly pulled into the driveway of my house and turned off the car.

He turned towards me, the worry in his eyes almost made me want to call up Jessica and tell her I couldn't go, "Bella, twenty or so people is nothing to a determined vampire. I told you about how I felt that first day in biology, all those kids were nothing when it came to reaching the goal of drinking your blood," it was comforting that he could talk so lightly about drinking me, like he was simply talking about going down to the local burger joint and picking up a burger and fries.

"Edward!" no matter how much I cared about Edward's feelings I really did want to go to this party, "I'll be fine. Besides, if anything is going to happen- which it won't- Alice will have a vision and you'll use your Superman vampire speed and save me and then we'll go sit in my room and you can mope about what a bad influence you are on me and that if you weren't here I would be so much safer," I took a deep breath and continued by saga, "Then I'll counter back that my life was nothing before you and you promised never to leave me and that when you did before you were completely miserable when you weren't with and then I would ask you if you wanted to endure that again?"

I was only slightly dizzy after the ordeal.

"Okay, can I at least give you a curfew?" I stared at him and raised my eyebrows, "Well, do you expect me to pace around your room wondering when you'll be there?"

"Edward," I took his hands in mine and looked at him, forcing a serious look to my face, "It's not my problem that you can't find ways to be productive," I broke into giggles and got out of the car. I went over to his window and leaned in, "I love you, Edward. But you gotta cut the umbilical cord- at least until I get home," I kissed his cheek briefly.

"Bella!" he called out, but I was already in the house. He could have followed me in and held me through out the night so I would miss the party and stay safe, but maybe he realized he was acting like a nut.

I arrived at the party well after dark, the fire was roaring and the music was loud. It seemed that everyone from school was there along with a good amount of people from La Push, "Bella!" someone rushed over and swung there arm around my neck.

"Hey Mike," I walked out of his embrace, hoping he would take the hint.

"I'm glad you came," he continued to walk with me, "Um, did Cullen come?"

"No, Edward wasn't able to make it. He needed to help down at the hospital."

"That's too bad," he didn't sound sincere at all, "Do you want a drink? We could go dance if you want?"

"You know, I would love a Mr. Pibb," I hated the soda but I just wanted to get him away from me.

"Okay, just stay here," not a chance.

"Okay! Thanks," I called after him as he high-tailed it over to the table of coolers, I just had to hope that Jessica and Angela had only bought name brand sodas.

I walked around the party, saying hi to the people I knew. I made my way over to the rocky shore, remembering everything that had taken place on this beach and in these waters.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? The strong power of the current crashing onto the rocks over and over again, creating an uneven rhythm," a voice said from behind me.

"Um, well, mostly I just think of big, wet and salty," I turned around, "Hi Jacob."

"Hey, Bells," he walked over and stood next to me, staring out into the dark ocean, "It all seems so long ago, doesn't it?"

I knew what he was speaking of, "Yeah and then it feels like it was just yesterday and nothing has changed at all."

"And yet everything has."

"It had to, Jake. Things couldn't stay the same, not with Edward back," he started to say something but continued, "I know you don't understand it and maybe you never will, but I love Edward and I love you too, but the love for Edward is completely different from what I have for you," I turned towards him and looked him in the face.

"I love you, Jake, you saved my life. And not just when you pulled me from those waters, but by befriending me when I needed a friend the most. You helped me out so much, in a way no one else did or could. And I'm very grateful for that.

"But, I don't love you like I do Edward. I don't even know how to describe what I feel for Edward or why I love him- I just do, even though he has hurt me. But, maybe that's what love is-"

"Bella," Jacob interrupted, "Thank you for trying to explain, but could you please not go into detail about yours and Edward's love. I'd really rather not have the knife in my heart twisted."

"Jake, I'm sorry. But, I can't help it."

"I know, Bells, it's just something I'm going to have to deal with. Maybe I'll find my savior, my Jacob… only female. You know what I mean."

"Of course I do. We can still be friends though, right?"

There was a pause before he answered, "We can try. But I can't promise anything, Bells."

"I'm gonna take a walk, if anyone is looking for me just tell them I went that way," I pointed down towards the lighthouse, hoping no one would ask and I could find refuge there.

"Of course," he gave me a halfhearted hug and went back to the party.

I walked silently down the shore; the crashing waves soon over powered the loud music and teens.

"Bella, you left," it was Mike again.

"Um, yeah, it just got kind of loud and I haven't been down here since Edward came back. He's not into the beach all that much," of course that wasn't the real reason but I didn't think I would or should explain to Mike how my boyfriend hated, no despised Jacob and his entire family.

"That's too bad, Bella," he walked closely next to me, our arms brushing each other, I moved away. I continued to walk in silence, hoping he would take the hint and leave. But it was hard to get lost in my thoughts again with Mike so nearby.

"You shouldn't be with Edward," Mike's words were like a slap in the face.

"Mike, I really don't think you have any place in Edward and my relationship," I walked faster, hoping I could lose him.

"I was the first person who was nice to you in Forks, I went out of my way to help you. Cullen ignored you!"

I frowned at him, we had reached the rocky cliff and I turned around, "You don't know the circumstances, Mike!" I tried to push him out of my way to walk back to the party but he stopped me, pushing me against the rock, "Mike, let me go by."

"No, you're supposed me be with me," his lips crushed mine, I struggled against him and the rock, I felt my shirt rip open against the sharp stone.

"Mike, stop it! You don't want to do this," I moved my head away from him, trying to scream for help but his hand covered mine, "No!" but cries were useless.


	2. Chapter Two: Edward's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Two  
**

I sat down at the piano, ready to unload all my feelings on the ivories, but Bella's good-bye was the only thing running through my mind. Her beautiful smile and delectable smell that wafted through the air as her hair blew in the wind.

It was so difficult not being able to go down to the beach and keep an eye out on her, to listen to the groups thoughts, to hear what she was saying. To be part of her human life, take her to the beach in the sun.

Things I would never be able to do with her.

Bella.

I hit the record button on the stereo and began playing. The notes came fluidly from the piano and reverberated off the walls.

"Edward!" Alice's scream pierced the room; I tore away from the piano. I had inadvertently blocked everyone's thoughts from my mind while playing.

"What?" she looked up at me with terrified eyes, more frightened than I had ever seen her before. Jasper sat behind her, stroking her hair, failing at calming her down.

She took a deep breath and relayed the vision to my mind.

It was of Mike and Bella, Mike had Bella against a rock. Pushing himself into her. Bella's face was tearstained and frightened, her mouth was covered with Mike's hand but I could still make out her feeble cries of help. Calling my name.

And I wasn't there to help her.

"When?"

She looked back up to me, the answer in her eyes. I was in the car and half way to First Beach when my phone rang, a number I didn't recognize.

"What?"

"Edward!" Bella. My dear, sweet, hurt Bella.

"I'm almost there, Bella. Everything's going to be okay. Is Black there?" As much as I wanted to stay on the line with Bella I needed to get permission from one of the werewolves to go onto their land.

"Edward! I need you right here. Mike- Mike- he-"

"I know, sweetheart. I need to talk to Black, please put him on the phone."

It pained me to hear her hand the phone over to Black, her sobs growing louder.

"You can come on the land, just come alone."

"Like I would have the audacity to do anything right now," I threw the phone onto the passengers seat and pushed the car to 150. I needed to get Rose to work on the car or switch to the Vanquish permanently.

I parked the car in front of the walkway at First Beach and scooped Bella into my arms.


	3. Chapter Three: Bella's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Three**

The pain was excruciating, I continued to scream uselessly into Mike's hand.

"What the hell?" a voice came from behind Mike. Suddenly, Mike was pulled away from me and I fell to ground, curling up into a protective ball. I heard two people talking and Mike yelling. I drew within myself.

The person came back, I looked up at them through my tear fogged eyes. It was Jacob. He situated my clothes back onto me and wrapped a warm jacket around me, "It'll be okay, Bells," he whispered into my hair, I appreciated his warmth and kind words. He meant well.

But things wouldn't be okay.

"Where's Edward?"

"He's not here, Bells. He couldn't come to the party."

"I need Edward," he got his cell phone out of the pocket of his jacket.

"Do you know his number?"

Of course, it was second nature to me. On those nights when he couldn't come over I would call him and he would hum my lullaby into the phone until I was asleep. Why couldn't I remember it now?

"Here," Jacob placed the phone in my hand and I dialed the number. I couldn't recall the numbers but I remembered the motion better than anything.

The phone rang twice before it was answered, "What?"

"Edward!" His voice was the sweetest music I had ever heard.

"I'm almost there, Bella. Everything's going to be okay. Is Black there?" No, I needed him to talk to me, tell me I was okay, tell me I was still a good person, tell me everything would be okay and life would go on.

"Edward! I need you right here. Mike- Mike- he-"

"I know, sweetheart. I need to talk to Black, please put him on the phone," I could feel the pain in his voice, adding to my pain. I had hurt him, by letting Mike do _that_ to me I had hurt Edward.

I was such a terrible person.

I reluctantly handed the phone to Jacob, "You can come on the land, just come alone," Jake slid the phone into his pocket and looked back at me, "Can you tell me what happened?"

I shook my head violently, causing my vision to blur and cobwebs to move in on the sides.

"Tell them the truth, Bella, tell them this is what you wanted. You asked for it, Bella. You tease. You slut. You wanted that!" Mike yelled from a distance, my sobs began again and it hurt all over.

"No!" I tucked myself deeper both inside the jacket and the mental alcove I had created for myself so long ago. Minutes passed before I was scooped into my angels arms, safe at last. Safe, but having to face the person I had hurt.

"Isabella, you're okay, now," his hand ran down my hair and I drew comfort from his cold, the jacket fell off my shoulders as I wrapped my arms around him, "The police are going to come and take care of Newton. We have to have you examined for evidence, Bella. I can take you home and Carlisle can do that? Is that what you want?" I didn't answer. I couldn't. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Or be touched by anyone. "We don't have to call your father yet, that can wait for a little bit. But he will find out."

"The- the police! Charlie will find out. Don't call them. I don't want Charlie to know. I can't handle that," Edward walked me away from the scene.

"He needs to know, Bella. I don't want you to hide from this."

"I want to go home," I mumbled against his neck.

"You need to be checked by a doctor, sweetheart. I can take you to the hospital or I can take you to my house, Carlisle is home tonight and can do whatever needs to be done."

"I know that. I want to go home," I looked up at him, thankful for the streetlight that was shining light onto his dark topaz eyes, "I want to go to your home. I want to go to our home, please."

"Of course," I leaned back on Edward. I felt him walking and I fell asleep to the smooth rhythm. I woke up again from the pain of being sat in the car, "Bella, I have to set you down," I clutched his arm, but he gently pulled my fingers from the fabric of his shirt. My hand was back in his seconds later as he pulled the car out of the parking space, "I shouldn't have let you, Bella. I was so stupid."

Tears ran down my face again. Sweet Edward was taking the blame for something that was my fault. I fell asleep once again.

"Edward, please go get Bella something to wear. Alice, please help her out of these clothes, they need to be bagged for evidence," I opened my eyes and looked around the room, dreary looking and obviously not used. I was lying down on some sort of hard lounge, "Bella, I'm glad that you are awake."

"Bella, sweetie, can you lift up your arms for me?" Alice's cold hands touched my arm and I flinched away. I didn't want to take off my shirt in front of Carlisle and Edward, I shook my head fervently. "Please, I don't want to accidentally hurt you."

I felt even more violated as Alice slipped the shirt over my head, my body ached from the movement. I took a sharp intake of breath as the scabs that had formed on my back and shirt broke, Alice turned her head away and stopped breathing.

"Sorry," we both said. She picked up the shirt Edward had brought in and slipped it over my shoulders, buttoning it down till it hit me mid thigh. I looked away, out the lightening window as she unhooked my bra and took off my ruined skirt and underwear.

Edward walked over to me and brushed the hair out of my face, "Don't Edward. Please don't touch me," he withdrew his hand but sat down next to me on the lounge.

"Oh, Bella," I could hear the pain in his voice and although the little person in the back of my head desperately wanted to console him and tell him how sorry I was for letting Newton do those things to me, the louder part of me never wanted see him again. Newton had stolen something that had belonged to Edward and it was all my fault. I should have been stronger, I should have not strayed from the party, "I'm sorry, but you need to tell what happened. We have a police here and she needs to take down your story, are you ready to do that?"

I shook my head again. I just wanted to run somewhere and hide; I wanted to forget what had happened that night. This night. Only hours ago. I nodded my head; I just wanted to get this over with. I knew that Edward wouldn't let this go, he wanted Newton punished, but he also knew that punishing him himself wouldn't be wise.

"Okay, I'll be here the whole time, Bella," but I didn't want him to be. I didn't want him to hear this, I didn't want him to know how I had let him down.

Carlisle let the police officer in and Edward wrapped a blanket around by bare legs, "Isabella, right?"

"Bella," Edward answered for me.

"I'm sorry," the woman's smile was kind, "But I need Bella to answer the questions. Bella, where were you tonight?"

"I was at the beach. At First Beach."

"Who was there?"

I thought back, "Everyone from the senior class. Some of the kids from La Push, Jacob and Sam. Maybe some of their friends. I don't remember."

"Who did you talk to?" I told her, "Why didn't this young man go with you? He is your boyfriend, right?"

I struggled as I thought of a believable lie, "I had to study for a test, everyone in the house can vouch for that. I've been here all night."

The woman turned to Edward, "Except when you went to get Bella. I looked at the time on your phone, you got there quite quickly."

"Yes, I had to run to the store to get binder paper. She called me before I got to the store and I figured an emergency such as this was a good reason to ignore the speed limit."

"Well, just don't make it a habit," I breathed a sigh of relief, "Bella, I need you to tell me what happened after you went for a walk," I tensed up again, this was what I had been dreading. I had watched _Law & Order _and scoffed at the young risqué girls for making this into such an ordeal but now I sympathized with the fictional girls. Understanding the emotional pain and physical pain. And the guilt.

The guilt was the worst.

"Mike Newton caught up with me on the beach, I was almost to the cliffs and he was talking to me. He asked why Edward wasn't with me and then he said that I didn't belong with him. And then he pushed me against one of the cliffs and he had sex with me."

"Did you want to have sex with him?"

I looked up from my lap, feeling the fire in my eyes and on my face, "No! He raped me. He raped me! And I told him no. And I tried to fight. But I couldn't stop him. It's my fault."

"Being raped is never the victims fault, Bella."

"You don't understand," I turned away from everyone and looked back out the still lightening window, "You don't understand."

"What happened next, Bella?"

"Jacob found us and Sam took Mike away. I called Edward and now I'm here," I spieled off the Spark Notes version of the ordeal, wanting to get everything out of the way and over with; ready to start my life as a human shell again.

I heard the woman's footsteps go over to Carlisle, "We need the evidence as soon as possible and you need to call her father, he needs to be here to sign the consent form for the procedure."

"She's eighteen. She doesn't need parent consent," Edward said.

I drew the blanket closer around me, I didn't want to have this examination. I didn't want anyone to see my ruined body.

"You can sedate her if she needs it. In circumstances such as this it isn't uncommon for the victim to be given medication to help her sleep."

"I'm well aware, Officer, thank you," I heard someone escort her away, "Bella, I need to perform the examination now, to get the evidence. It shouldn't take more than five minutes."

I shook my head, "No."

"Darling, we need the actual evidence if we are going to press charges against Newton," the surname was nothing more than a growl.

"I don't want to press charges. It was my fault."

"Bella, you know that's not true. Please, let Carlisle do the exam. It'll be over before you know it."

I turned around quickly and stood up, the blanket dropped on the floor and goosebumps ran over my legs, "You know, I said the same exact thing when I gave up fighting against Newton. And those moments of my life felt like forever. It still feels like they're going on!"

Edward came over and stood next to me, his hand brushing over my hair and cheek, "And it will probably feel like that for quite awhile, but Bella, I want to help make things better for you," I saw my favorite crooked smile and I felt my heart lift a few centimeters, "And I know killing Newton off wouldn't make you very happy with me."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm still not having the exam. It's pointless," I walked out of the room and found my way to Edward's room. I fell into a deep sleep the moment I hit the couch.


	4. Chapter Four: Edward's POV

_Disclaimer: _I don't believe anyone can be forced to have examination with a rape kit, it's purely for character relationship development. Since this is fanfiction I don't want to have to do a ton of research for procedures. Sorry. I'll do my best with my vast knowledge obtained from avid _Lay & Order _watching. :)

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**Innocence Lost; Chapter Four**

I turned to Carlisle, if I was human tears would have been leaking from my eyes, but my eternal hell refused to let me show my emotion, "Isn't there some way to over ride her decision?"

Carlisle sat down in the chair, "An adult with a close relationship needs to sign the forms."

I looked down, I knew that it was Bella's job to tell her father and I wasn't sure she was ready for that. I also knew that evidence like this needed to be collected as close as possible to the time of the crime, and that time was already ticking away.

"Define adult?"

"Over eighteen, Edward. But you can't be-" I rushed out of the room, not letting him finish his refusal of my idea.

"Jasper! Where are the birth certificates we used to enroll at Forks?" I ran into his room, interrupting a terribly precious moment between Alice and him. It was sweet the way, a single look or touch could spread emotion through both of them.

"Top desk drawer."

"Thanks," I grabbed mine and ran back to Carlisle.

"It says I'm eighteen," he appeared as if he was going to say no.

He did, "Edward, I'm not sure it's right of you to decide something like that."

"Please, I need to put that bastard away. I don't want to have to kill him, I'm hoping the justice system can do something about him. Dad, please."

Carlisle looked away and sighed, "I'm going to be honest," I nodded, understanding the need to be, "She may hate you after this."

"And she may thank me. Imagine how disappointed she will be with herself five year down the line when realizes that she didn't do something about a rapist. Bella couldn't stand for that, she would hate to know that she was the one who caused other people pain. She wouldn't be able to live with herself."

"It's your decision," Carlisle handed me the papers and I left the fragrant room, Bella's smell had permeated the room.

I sat outside my room, listening to Bella moan in her sleep. I knew exactly what she was dreaming of and it pained me not be able to save her from the nightmare, but even if I woke her up she would still have to go back to sleep again and relieve this night. Forever. Until she died.

"You're doing the right thing," Alice came and sat next to me.

"Letting her suffer like that? I can't believe I let her go to that party."

"Edward. You can't blame yourself, you can't see the future. I was so caught up in looking for the wedding dress I saw for B-" she looked up and smiled at me, I gulped at her unfinished statement, "Well, I was busy and not paying attention to my visions. I didn't see it until it was too late."

"Maybe it's both of our faults."

Rosalie walked in front of us and stood there, looking down at us, her eyebrow drawn up, "Ever thought maybe it's just that stupid humans fault."

I stood up and slammed Rosalie into the wall, "It's not Bella's fault. Don't you ever say anything like that," there was a raging feeling coming from inside me, something I hadn't felt since Bella had had her life threatened by James.

"No! That kids fault, the guy, whatever his name was," Rose pushed my arms out of the way and walked over to her door.

"Newton?"

"Yeah. It's his fault."

"Rose, we could of stopped it. I can read minds, Alice can see the future. Those are prime super powers to stop horrible things from happening."

"But, maybe that's what wrong. Do you know how hard it is to live in this fantasy world and have your ability be your beauty, something you were already praised for when you were human? It's difficult, but it's also given me a crucial experience of seeing this world from a different point of view," she walked over and placed her hand on my shoulder, making sure I was paying attention.

"Just because we get to be on this earth forever and be extremely strong doesn't mean we can save everyone we care about," she paused, she had been blocking her mind from me the entire time, but her mind opened up and she wondered back to when she had saved Emmett from the bear, "At least with out drastic measures."

"You know I can't do that to her, I don't want to take her soul."

Alice who I had been silent this entire time, spoke up, "She would forget."

"What do you mean," I turned around to face her.

"When- if you change Bella she would forget this ever happened. She would have no memory of it."

"She has the right to know," it was odd to hear Rose talk about Bella in a friendly way.

"Bella being changed isn't really of importance right now," I said, pushing past both of them and walking into my room.

Bella was curled on the couch, I pulled the shirt back down around her knowing she wouldn't appreciate me seeing her like that, especially now. I found a blanket in the hall closet and wrapped it around her, "What do you want me to do, Bella?"

"Edward."

She was talking in her sleep again, "Bella," I answered.

"Don't. No. Edward! Help!" her voice became panicked and her breath shortened. I tried my best to calm her, "Do something! Please!"

I looked at her, tears running down her sleepy face, bruises on her neck, cheekbone and jaw line. I looked down at the papers, "Please forgive me, love," I signed the paper and hoped that in the end this was what Bella would want.


	5. Chapter Five: Bella's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Five**

_It hurt. It hurt as Mike kept pushing himself into me, his hands gripping my hips, his teeth biting me. A rough violent kiss._

_"Edward!" Mike slammed my head against the rocks, I felt blood trickle down my neck and mingle with the blood from the rocks, "Don't. No. Edward! Help!"_

_"Edward's not here for you, he's never going to be there for you," he punctuated every word with a thrust._

_"Please don't," I put my arms in front of my face, at least protecting me his kisses, I tried to push him away but couldn't, "Edward!"_

I opened my eyes and he was there. I was safe, in his room, lying on his couch with his face hovering over me, "Bella, it's okay now," he closed his eyes and could tell that he was going to regret what he was about to say, "I want you to be examined, please."

I sat up and stared at him, I didn't want to be violated again, "We can fight this in court, we can win and Mike will be punished."

"It wouldn't be good enough, he would just get back out again. He would find me again."

"You think I'm ever going to let you out of my sight again without talking to Alice and searching through everyone's mind first?" He sounded as if he was joking, maybe he was, maybe he wasn't, "I'll always be there for you."

"Forever?"

"For as long as you want."

"That's for forever."

He kissed my cheek, "I want you to have that exam and I would like you to make that decision on your own, but in certain situations paperwork can be done where the victim," we both cringed at the word, "can be forced to have the procedure. We have a lot of witnesses once we take this to court, but unfortunately Newton has a lot of character witnesses. And a jury may believe them."

"Will you be there with me during the exam?" he nodded, "Will Alice?" again a nod. I stood up and squinted from the pain. Edward held out his hands, offering to carry me to the room again, I put my arms around his neck; he cradled me against his chest. It hurt my back to be held, but not as much as it hurt between my legs to walk.

He sat me down in the room on the same lounge as before, my teeth began to chatter from both fear and cold, "Bella," Carlisle turned around, his gloved hands scared me, "You can be sedated for this, you wouldn't be aware of anything going on. Do you want to do that?"

I turned to Edward for the answer, "This is your decision," I didn't want it to be, I turned to Alice.

"It will be easier."

"What did you see?"

"Nothing, I just know that I'm thankful for not being able to remember my time at the asylum."

"Um, okay than. I'd like to be sedated then," the words sounded weird as they came out of my mouth, foreign and not mine.

"Okay, just a small prick and you'll be hazy, you will probably hear some sort of humming-" I interrupted Carlisle.

"I have to get a shot? With a needle?" I swear I heard Edward snicker.

Carlisle gave me a sad smile and I turned away from the scary silver piece of metal, Edward bent down, getting ready to kiss me, "Don't Edward, we have to take a swab from her mouth for DNA," Carlisle said, I cringed when the needle pricked my skin, but I instantly began to feel sleepy. I flailed my hand around, trying to find Edward's. He grasped it and held it tightly.

The humming started, not the humming I was used to while going to the dentist but the familiar hum of Edward, the tune was our lullaby. I smiled, wanting to thank Edward for calming me down but I was shocked at the pain from between my legs. I felt Edward's presence above my head and breathed in his scent, I wanted to thank him again.

I heard Carlisle and Alice's voices in the background, I felt myself being lifted up. My back was suddenly very cold, I felt prodding fingers. A wet cloth which I supposed wiped away the blood. Poor Alice and Edward, they were both being so strong.

The next few minutes, hours, day, seconds, were filled with the clicking of cameras and the swiping of swabs.

The medicine was beginning to wear off and I heard the door shut, it was just Alice and me in the room now, "Hey sleepyhead."

"I wasn't asleep."

"You were humming, though. That song Edward wrote for you. You're a terrible singer, but Edward thought it was the sweetest thing he ever heard. I think he's already writing you a new song," I smiled, thankful for Alice's normal conversation. And then it stopped, "Bella, we need to know when the last time you had your period was?"

I blushed at the generally private topic, "Two weeks ago, I think. About two weeks ago," I hadn't even thought about that in the past few hours, I could be pregnant, "Alice?"

She shook her head, "I haven't seen anything, but you should still take these," she held out her hand and a bottle of water. I figured it was the "morning after pill."

I took the pill unceremoniously.

"I'm really sorry I didn't see what was going to happen. The Powers That Be kept showing me the vision but I was ignoring it because of another one. Can you keep a secret?"

I nodded.

"I saw your and Edward's wedding."

"Really?" I asked, not sure of which emotion I should let take over.

"You were so beautiful. Anyway, I was online trying to find the dress I saw and I kept feeling my head getting fuzzy but I was so strung up on finding that dress that I ignored the vision. Once I stopped the vision came to me harder than ever and-"

"Alice," I interrupted, "I really don't want to hear this. But thank you and it's not your fault," I paused and then answered her question, "And it's not Edward's and I don't think it was mine. At least not right now. There was nothing I could have done to stop this from happening besides not going from the party. Or maybe not going on that walk.

"But, that would be silly, you know? To just hide away forever, I mean certainly, the alone time with Edward is something to be desired, at least by me, but that's not going to help me.

"Once I took that path, I screwed myself over. Or maybe if I had dragged Edward to the party with me," I sighed and looked up at Alice, "Thanks though, for trying to help." I smiled, truly appreciative.

"There wasn't anything you could have done, Bella. Listen, generally when a vision won't leave me alone it means it's set in stone. I started feeling that vision hours before you even left for the party. There was nothing you could have done," she kissed me softly on the cheek and pushed a pile of clothes in my direction, "Carlisle said you can take a shower now, do you need any help?"

"I want to try and do it myself. I'll call you if I need any help," I smiled sadly at her, it was just like when I had broken my leg and she would come over to Charlie's- "What about Charlie? I can't tell him. He's going to be so mad at me and he's already mad at me for going off to Italy or LA or whatever. Can't we just tell him that I slept over here and we did makeovers or something I mean, we could tell him I fell down the stairs which would explain the bruises it'll work he's fallen for everything else and you can tell him, oh Alice, you could tell him that we decided to take a trip to the moon and he would believe you. Please?"

She closed her eyes and grimaced, "Carlisle and Edward went to go tell him, I know we should have waited for you tell him or for your permission to tell him at least, but he's the Sheriff. Mike is down at the police station right now and it's procedure to call the sheriff with rape cases," I felt a sickening twist in my stomach at the word 'rape,' "He would have had to find out from some rookie at the station. And he respect Carlisle and even Edward in some aspect, it's better that he heard it from them."

I didn't even want to think about it; my father knew what I had done wrong.


	6. Chapter Six: Edward's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Six  
**

I sat in the passenger seat of Carlisle's car, slowly wearing a hole in my jeans due to the fidgeting. Carlisle was driving the speed limit. He really wanted me to change my mind.

"This isn't your job, Bella should be the one to tell him," he said, thrumming his hand on the steering wheel.

"I know that. And originally I did want her to be the one to tell him, I'm not exactly his favorite person. But I don't want Bella to have to go through that. She shouldn't have to tell her own father that she was raped," I ran my fingers through my hair, angry at myself again for letting Bella get into this situation.

"She's going to have to go through it all again many times in the future, she's going to have to tell an entire court room what happened that night. I understand that you are trying to protect by not having her tell Charlie, but unfortunately you are only doing harm," I turned to look at him, he looked distressed that this was the answer he had to give me. He didn't want to have to have Bella go through this either.

"What do you want me to do than? Go back to the house and tell Bella what? 'Here's some clothes, get dressed, you have to go tell your father you were raped'? I can't do that to her."

"I can't tell you what to do, Edward. This is your decision to make."

I leaned back in my seat. I so desperately wanted to be the seventeen year old the world viewed me as, so my father figure could just tell me what to do. I didn't want to have to make these decisions, especially if they affected Bella.

I couldn't afford to make the wrong decision.

"Do you think she would regret it if I were the one to tell him?" I tried conning him into giving me some sort of fatherly advice.

"I don't know, Edward. You know Bella far better than I do, far better than anyone does. You should ask yourself that question," blast his 500 some odd years worth of wisdom and knowledge.

Would Bella want to be the one to tell him, probably not. But it would be the healthy thing to do, even if she hated it the entire time. I could do my best to protect Bella from physical danger, but I couldn't protect her from the emotional pain she was going to feel. It wasn't right of me to let her develop this bubble wrap protection for herself, especially if she was going to press charges against him.

I looked down from the ceiling and saw that we were about to turn onto Bella's street, "Damn it, turn around. Bella should be the one to tell Charlie, but I am going to be right next to her the whole entire time," I said in a pointlessly threatening tone.

"You do what you need to do, Edward."

I was extremely sick of this cryptic tone he continued to use.

"Why are you doing this, Carlisle? Why can't you just give me the answers anymore?" I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Because, Edward, in a sense you are beginning to grow up. Yes, you are far wiser with earthly knowledge than most adults in this world. But by being in this serious relationship with Bella you are taking the next step into what could only be your own adulthood, just 90 or so years too late," he turned to me with a astute grin on his face, "It's okay, your just a late bloomer."


	7. Chapter Seven: Bella's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Seven**

I stepped into the shower gingerly, the hot water hurt my bruises and the partially scabbed over cuts on my back.

I pushed with my hands against the wall, wanting the pain to disappear. I wanted the physical pain to be erased. The mental and emotional pain to vanish. I wanted to fade away.

I didn't want to have to go to school on Monday and have everyone see me, see how ruined I was. People would look at me and know what I had done. Mike would be there and what if what I had done had ruined his life? Everyone at school would hate- will hate me.

Maybe I could just be home schooled from now on, Charlie wouldn't even have to know. I could come over to Edward's house in the morning and take classes through one of their computers. They were much faster than mine anyway.

Or maybe Edward could be my teacher of sorts, he knew everything there was to know. He had first hand knowledge of most American history, for goodness sake.

And then once I graduated Edward or Carlisle or Alice could change me and then we could move away from Forks forever and I could forget this all.

And human memories faded with time, at some point I would never remember what happened.

I slipped out of the shower and quickly got dressed. I was certain the scabs on my back had opened again.

"Alice!" I yelled through the hall, standing in the doorway of the bathroom to sore to walk without much further help. My hastiness had not proven to be a good thing and I was regretting my impatience.

"Bella?" she asked suddenly in front of me, I stepped back surprised by her sudden appearance, "What's wrong? You didn't wash your hair. Do you need help? I forgot to tell you about the stitches. Sorry. Bella? What's wrong?"

I gulped and shook my head, "I need to be changed. Please. I could forget this all ever happened and we could move far away from here. Please!" I grabbed her and she took it back, sweeping my semi-wet hair out of my face.

"Bella, although to some extent I do agree with what your saying. I know I am happy about not remembering my own human life. I don't think you want to be changed for the correct reasons right now. You can't run from your problems, Bella. It doesn't help," I frowned at her, disappointed that she hadn't agreed with me and that dangerous venom wasn't running through my veins right now, "And it's not definite that you'll forget. Nothing's definite."

"Funny coming from you," I said dryly, "You of all people should know what's definite and what not."

"Bella," Alice said in warning tone.

"I'm sorry. It's just," what was it? "I don't know. I don't know how to deal with this. Forgetting it just seems easier."

"It is easier," I gave her a look as if to say 'what are you waiting for, bite away,' "But it's not right and it won't make you stronger."

I leaned against the wall, wincing as my wet hair soaked through the my shirt and hit the scabs on my back, "What if I don't want to be stronger?"

"Come on, I should put some bandages on your back," she pulled my hand and I started walking towards her room.

I looked up and saw Edward looking at me, his face was the definition of regret and sadness, "Actually, Alice, I need to talk to Bella. Is that all right?"

"Okay," Alice nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving to her room.

My hand was transferred to Edward's and we walked down the hall to Edward's room.

"If you lie down on the bed I can bandage your back for you, Bella," when did he get the bandages?

I did as he asked silently and winced when he lifted up the back of my shirt, Edward let the shirt sit on my upper back and he sat down and looked at my face, "Bella, do you trust me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you trust me? You winced. You don't think that I would ever try and do anything to hurt you, do you?" his eyebrows creased together.

"Edward, after all we have been through do you honestly still have to ask that question?" I was hurt, but I understood why he was asking.

"I just thought," he stuttered over his words and I stared at him in amazement, Edward never stuttered, "I thought things would change," he picked up the bandages and began tenderly placing them on my back.

"Things have changed Edward, but not between us. Never between us," I closed my eyes and delighted myself by focusing on his cold touch. I gasped when his lips kissed the swollen sores, "Don't," I said softly and against my will.

"Why?" Edward asked, obviously surprised that I had asked him to stop kissing me.

"If venom were to get in my blood system you would be mad at yourself and then things would change," Edward looked ashamed that at least one of us hadn't thought of that. Edward finished taping up my back before pulling my shirt down and kissing the back of my neck.

"I love you, Bella. I feel terrible about what happened," I couldn't help but think, here we go again. It wasn't bad enough that I was having to live my guilt for letting this happen but I also had to live everyone else's guilt about letting it happen, "You just dazzled me yesterday, you could have asked me to give you the world in that car with your scent floating around, your heart pumping away. I just wasn't strong enough."

I pulled myself up and directed Edward to sit down, I turned to him and held his hands, "Please don't. Don't try to blame yourself to take the blame off of me. I'm the one who was so adamant about going to that party. I don't even like parties! I should have listened to you, Edward," he raised his eyebrows, "Don't expect me to say that too often."

He gave up fighting, as did I, "What time is it?"

"Almost five," I looked out Edward's large window, it was obviously almost five in the morning, "When was the last time you ate?"

"Dinner, I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat," he said standing up and taking my hand, I sighed. If he gave up the argument of blame I would give up the argument of whether I was hungry or not, "I need to talk to you, we might as well multi-task. Are you still sore? Do you want me to carry you?"

Yes. "No, I don't think staying still will help. You can't do everything for me," I said, leaning on him.

"I want to Bella, I want to," we arrived in the kitchen after a long travel down the stairs, with every other step I refused Edward's help. When we arrived at the bottom I was surprised that I had made it down there with out him ignoring my requests and carrying me to the kitchen, "What do you want to eat?"

"I don't care, I told you. I'm not hungry," I sat down at the table and paused, "Why do you have food here?"

Edward smiled at me slyly, "Well with summer coming we all assumed you would be spending more time here and Esme has been brushing up on her cooking skills. Apparently it was something she really enjoyed when she was human."

"Well, I'm glad that I can bring some joy to your family's life," I said flatly.

"They're your family, too," he said, setting down a plate of toast and a cup of juice in front me. I sipped the juice slowly, staring down at the plate while Edward stared at me. He was shooting daggers at me, wanting me to eat the toast.

I took a big bite, regretting it once I felt the butter and jam spread on my face. Edward smiled, I could see him holding back laughter, he handed me a napkin, "Bella, I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"You're going to have to tell Charlie and Renee and soon," I was confused, I thought Edward went and told him. That's what Alice had said, "We're doing are best to keep Charlie from being called down to the station, but they are going to need him there for questioning. And they can only keep Newton there for so long legally-"

"I don't want to press charges."

"Bella, why not?" he was gripping the edge of the table. To stop himself from banging it? From scaring me? "You know this was his fault right?"

I got up from the table and ran my fingers through my hair, instantly regretting it; I hadn't combed it out yet and I had hangnail stuck on a curl.

"Why do we have to blame it on anyone, Edward? Can't it just be another shitty thing that happened in my life, can't we just move on? We can graduate and you can change me and we can run away together and we can live together forever. We'll forget this ever happened and have our happy ending," I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor ignoring the pain from my back and in between my legs.

Edward came down and sat next to me, pulling me into his lap, he gently kissed my forehead, "Bella, it's not about blame," he stopped himself, "Well, not entirely. It's about putting Mike away so one, he gets punished and knows not to mess with any other women and two, I don't have to kill him."

"No killing!" I said, my eyes wide.

"I won't," he said, looking at the door, "Let's not think about the trial right now. I know for a fact that your father," I tucked my head into Edward's shoulder, wanting oh-so desperately to ignore his words, "Is going to wake up soon and he's going to be worried about where you are."

"Wait, you didn't tell him?" my mind was swirling in confusion.

"No. Bella, I wanted to. But," he shook his head and laughed, my heart floated up a few centimeters, "you're right. I can't do everything for you. And this is going to be hard, but we need to go tell Charlie what happened. I'll be with you for every step, but you need to be the one to do it."

No. No. No. I didn't want to. I couldn't do this. I wanted to stick my head in the sand like an ostrich and hide away from everything. Pretend I didn't exist in this crummy world anymore. I wanted to squeeze into my own personal bubble and disappear from this world. Of course I would be taking Edward with me.

"Okay."

_AN: _I know I should have the next chapter up by Monday but it's going to be a longer chapter with POV's from Alice, Jake, Mike, Charlie, Bella and Edward... I've never written for Charlie or Mike... so it's gonna be interesting. The latest I'll give you the chapter is Tuesday night. I'll be going to my dad's house for the rest of the year and I don't know if we will have the wireless up when I get there. If I am no longer able to do updates every other day expect longer chapters once or twice a week.


	8. Chapter Eight: Mega Edition

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Eight**

**Mega Edition**_  
_

_No one needs to know how it feels._

_No one needs to understand._

_Because they can't have a hold on us._

_It's not just any kind of love;_

_I know when something is too sacred to touch._

I'm Here, Aly & AJ, Insomniatic

.EDWARD.

I helped Bella sit down in the car, but she pushed my hands away when they went around her waist. I recoiled, thinking that she didn't want me to touch her, "I need to do this myself, Edward. Thank you, but I need to do this myself."

I let her get in by herself, I walked at a human pace over to the drivers side before criticizing her courage and stubbornness. With Bella, there was a fine line between the two.

"Bella, I shouldn't even been letting you out the house. Your wounds are still fresh. I wish you would let me help you," I heard her teeth clench together, she took a deep breath. She was trying to hold back something, "What Bella?" I asked trying not to be agitated.

She sighed, "Would you really kill him?"

I knew exactly who she was talking about. Did she want me to? I would in a heartbeat; if it meant my Bella would be happy again. Even if my family deserted me afterwards, even if I had to hide for the rest of eternity with Bella. If killing Mike meant she would be happy again I would take any repercussion for it. I looked at her with as much intensity as I could in the car, "No," I lied, "I know how you would react to that. I'll just let the law deal with him."

She slouched against her seat, cringing, "Edward! Can you stop bringing that up! I don't want to press charges against him, it's just going to draw the whole thing out. I just want to put it behind me."

"Bella, this isn't something you just forget about like burnt spaghetti. It's real and it happened."

She made an adorable aggravated sound, "I've told you before I'm good at forgetting traumatic events."

And she had been true to her word, everything that had happened in our past together she had put behind her, wrapped herself up in me and pushed it all to the back of her head. I was amazed, I was the causer of it all and all I had to do was look into her eyes and she could forget all her worries.

Of course, that wouldn't work this time.

"Oh my God," Bella cried out in horror.

I shifted towards her, had she hurt herself, "Love, what is it?"

"You're driving the normal speed limit," she pointed at the speedometer, I stared momentarily at the glowing blue veins in her wrist. I pulled her hand to my mouth, kissing the palm, breathing in the scent radiating off of her pulse point. I could stay here forever.

"I figured you would want time to figure out what you were going to say to Charlie. He's going to be pissed at first; it's almost six in the morning. I'll be there for you the entire time, no matter what Charlie says," I reached into the back seat where Alice had thrown a sweatshirt for Bella, "There should be a hair tie in there for you."

When we parked in front of her house Bella pulled the sweat shirt over her head and took the hair band out of the pocket, "Be careful, there's stitches somewhere up there."

_Daughter to father, daughter to father!_

_I am broken, but I am hoping._

_Daughter to father, daughter to father!_

_I am crying, a part of me's dying._

_And these are, these are,_

_The confessions of a broken heart!_

Confessions of a Broken Heart, Lindsay Lohan

.BELLA.

I turned to Edward after I pulled my hair on top of my head, he smiled and pulled small strands of hair out of it, "I like it when your hair is down," he said, I wasn't sure if he meant to.

"It looks better when it's combed out," I said, I couldn't look him in the eye. I knew that if I did I would see everything I would have to do within five minutes.

"You could never look bad, Bella," he said, skimming my jaw, his cool touch making each bruise stand out and feel better. He kissed each bruise, each scratch.

"What am I supposed to tell him?"

"What do you want me to say?" he cupped my facing, brushing his thumbs against my cheek.

"Lie to me, you're awfully good at it," I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand, he jerked me back up, forcing me to look into his eyes.

"I told you I'm sorry about that, Bella. It was a rash and ill though out decision on my part and I'm going to do everything in my power to make up for leaving you," he said quickly and intensely.

"I'm sorry," I shook my head as a light went on in my house, "This really isn't the time to be talking about this. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Within a second Edward was opening my door and helping me out, "Tell Charlie the truth, Bella. He's going to find out anyway. Mike is going to be held for another twelve hours."

I shuddered at the thought of what telling Charlie meant, Charlie would want me to take this to trial as well. Not only because it was "the right thing to do" but because it would reflect on his image if I didn't. Maybe I could go through with it. If I didn't Edward might take it into his hands and kill Mike; forcing us to leave Forks. And Charlie would be viewed as an inadequate police officer because he wasn't taking a criminal to trial.

Could I really do any of this?

_I'm gonna watch you shine._

_Gonna watch you grow._

_Gonna paint a sign_

_So you'll always know_

_As long as one and one is two_

_There could never be a father_

_Who loved his daughter more than I love you._

Daughter and Father, Paul Simon

.CHARLIE.

My alarm clock went off at six, another day in Forks. I went over to Bella's door to make sure she's up. I hadn't heard her come in the night before and I wanted to be sure she wouldn't oversleep. I knew how much that bothered her, even on Saturdays.

I knocked again when there was no answer. I opened the door slowly. Her bed was still made and her desk was empty, "Damn it."

Thoughts ran through my mind. I knew that she had gone to that party near Billy's last night but perhaps she had gone over to that boyfriend's house of hers last night. I walked over to her bed and saw that her boyfriend's car was out there.

"Damn it," I raced out the front door, "Bella, what the hell are you doing?"

After I thought that she had fully understood the rules of being grounded she was breaking them so blatantly and so extremely. Edward helped her out of the car and although I was used to her klutzy walk I noticed it was a little slower than normal.

What the hell had he done?

"Bella, you need to get inside right now. Edward please leave the premises, you are no longer allowed to see Bella outside of school."

"Mr. Swan, Bella and I would like to talk to you. Bella and I need to talk to you," her boyfriend said politely. I looked at both of them, Edward seemed to supporting most of her weight and Bella looked more tired than ever.

"No. Bella and I can talk inside, Edward you can leave. You can see Bella on Monday," unless I decided she would be home schooled from now on.

"Daddy, no. Edward needs to be here, for me," she never called me daddy, not even when she was little.

"Come in," I said against my better judgment. I led them into the kitchen room and we sat down at the table, "Bella, why is your faced bruised?" if Edward had laid one hand on her I would willingly give up my gun and police badge for just one shot at him.

"It's okay, Bella. You can tell him," Edward said. Beyond my hatred for him I was touched by his kindness towards my daughter.

"I went to that party at the beach last night," she started. Something had happened to her, she started to hyperventilate, tears were running down her face.

"Bella, what happened?" I said, trying not to be angry at her and trying not to go into interrogator mode.

"I decided to go for a walk because the party was so loud and someone followed me," no. No. That couldn't happen to my baby. I was the protector of this town and to have one of the people I was supposed to be after hurt my child, my daughter was disgusting and hypocritical.

"Who was it, Bella?" she shook her head. She was protecting her attacker, I turned towards Edward, surely he knew.

"Bella, you need to tell your father. He'll find out once he goes to work," Edward told her.

"The bastard is there?" I yelled, I got up from the seat and grabbed my jacket and gun ready to go down there and give the bastard what he deserved.

"Daddy, no. You can't do that," she cried out, "You'll lose your job. Don't hurt him," her voice was small and terrified. Like nothing had ever heard before, even during the nightmares of her childhood.

"Just tell me who did it, Bells," I walked over to the table and knelt down beside her. I felt guilty, this was a trick that was used to interview young children; get at their eye level and they will be less intimidated.

She fell into me and, shocked, I put my arms around her, "It was Mike. Mike Newton. He didn't mean to though, he didn't want to hurt me."

I held her to me, not wanting to her go, "Dad that hurts."

"What?"

"My back is scratched up. Carlisle already looked at it."

I turned to Edward again, "My father is at the hospital lab right now doing all the tests. She's been checked already been checked, she's fine. Just some scratches, bruises, she has ten stitches on her scalp. Nothing unexpected in a case like this."

"She couldn't of been checked without my permission, that's against the law."

"I'm eighteen, Dad. I'm an adult now."

And she was, "Okay," I kissed her forehead and stood up, "I'm going to go in. You'll have to come down later today and give us a report of exactly what happened. I'll call you. You should just rest for now."

I went out to my car and sat there, crying for Bells.

I drove to work when I realized I had never kicked Edward out of the house.

_Here you go again_

_Doubting yourself_

_For no good reason_

_You're listening to someone else._

I'm Here, Aly & AJ, Insomniatic

.ALICE.

"Alice, will Bella ever realize that she isn't the one at fault?" Jasper asked me. We were both sitting on the bed, me in Jas's lap, Jas leaning against the headboard. He was reading another one of his books, while I thought more about the situation with Bella.

I knew that it bothered Jasper when I was so tangled up with something the emotions would vibrate off of me like a huge parade drum, but I simply couldn't help myself. If I hadn't been so selfish, I could have seen that vision. We could have taken the precautions.

"It's not your fault either, Alice! We can't control everything that goes on around us and until Edward realizes that no matter how hard he tries Bella will still get hurt things like this will keep happening. Bella will continue to fall down and scrape her knees, of course we all had hoped that it would only amount to scraped knees but the world doesn't always work out like that. It's unfair, but that's just how it is," Jasper said frantically.

"I know that. But, oh, I don't know, it's like… if I can place the blame then it can all be fixed. Bella can forgive the person and we can all get on with it," I turned around in his lap and leaned against his chest. He ran calming circles on my back a feeling of peace fell upon me.

"We can blame someone. We can blame Newton. But Bella needs to see that it's up to her for him to be punished."

I closed my eyes and I tried to focus on the place where my visions came from; the fuzzy feeling in the back of my head, "I don't see anything. I hate this."

"We all do, Alice."

**AN: IMPORTANT:: **Okay, why aren't Mike and Jake's POVs in here? Because, it's Monday night and I really want to put a chapter up tomorrow before things get busy and as I started typing up Mike's POV I realized I was taking short cuts.

Although I want to give you guys frequent chapters I don't want the quality of the chapter to go down because of it. Because the next part in the timeline of this story is interrogation you will see Mike's POV next.

So far, I'm not sure where Jake's POV falls into place. I know there is going to be a time lapse so maybe it will fall somewhere in there. Jake will come back into the plot no matter what though.

Thanks for reading the long AN!


	9. Chapter Nine: Mike's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Nine**

I sat there in my cell. The cold was penetrating through me. I was shivering, but I wasn't sure if this was caused by the cold or by the high wearing off.

I knew for sure that the guilt that was plaguing me was caused by the lack of high. The guilt of the drugs I had taken, the guilt of the trust I had lost between an entire town and the guilt of what I had done to Bella.

If I had known that this would of happened I never in a million years have taken the drugs. I never would have risked it just for a little fun.

On the other side of the wall I couldn't understand what I had found fun about taking the- whatever it was I had bought. But I was now paying the price for taking the meth. And so was Bella.

It was true that I like Bella as more than a friend, but ever since Edward had come back I knew that I had absolutely no chance with her whatsoever. But the drugs had taken hold of me and all sense of reason and right had gone out the window.

"Your being taken to be interviewed now," one of the officers said, opening up my cage.

He walked me down the hall to the room. On the wall were pictures of everyone who worked at the station, one face stood out in particular. Charlie. My stomach twisted again, I knew that as the sheriff of the town he would be the one to interview me. Me. The person who had hurt his daughter.

The officer sat me down in the room, a older women sat in the chair across from me. She held out her hand for me to shake, "My name is Teresa Logan. Officer Swan won't be on this case due to the circumstances. He is however sitting in the next room. The mirror right there is a one way window," I was slightly thankful that I would not have to deal with Bella's father at this moment, but still sickened by the fact that he was watching me right now.

"Now," Officer Logan began, "You have given your testimony to Officer Haper. You admit to raping Isabella Swan," I nodded my head rigidly, "Your test results came back and it shows that you were under the influence of methamphetamines. You do realize that along with the rape assault you will also be charged with being under the influence of drugs," again a nod, "Now, there weren't any drugs on you at the time so at the moment we can't charge you possession of drugs, but we haven't searched your room or car yet. Do you want to tell me anything before I get a warrant?"

I shook my head, "I took everything I bought today. There aren't any drugs in my car or anywhere in my house."

"Ms. Swan hasn't formally made charges against you. She is however coming in right now to give her testimony, as are a Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. Do you know them?"

"Edward is Bella's boyfriend and Jacob is Bella's best friend. They were there. They stopped everything. They saved her."

The officer got up from the chair and pushed it in, "You seem remorseful and honestly sorry. Hopefully that will save you."


	10. Chapter Ten: Edward's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Ten**

Bella stood there in the room watching her father leave. I saw her knees quiver; she probably didn't even notice it. I got up from my seat to go catch her.

She had just told her father the worst thing possible, it probably would have been easier to tell him that she was pregnant and we were getting married. Less likely, but definitely easier.

"It's okay, Bella."

"He's angry at me, he doesn't want to talk to me anymore," of course she had twisted his anger to anger at her and not at the rotten piece of flesh down at the Forks police station.

I held her in my arms, careful to not upset of any of her injuries and she cried into my shoulder. More heartbreaking sobs. I felt my dead heart twist in agony for her. If only I had Jasper's power, I could lessen the pain for her. For me. Make it more manageable.

But that wasn't right. It was just like telling Charlie for her. I had to let Bella work through her pain. It would be better in the long run.

Apparently.

"He hates me," she cried out, "How can you even love me right now?" I felt her pull away from me but I fought her and held her closer.

I ran us up to her room and sat down on the bed, still refusing to let go of her. I pulled the quilt around, I took the scrunchie out of her hair and ran my fingers through it, careful to avoid the still tender stitches.

I kissed her forehead, "Bella, your father loves you. He could never be angry with you," our homecoming from Italy flashed in my mind, "not for this," I added, "He's angry at Newton, as he should be. We all are. We're angry at ourselves, Bella. Everyone in this situation had the ability to stop it from happening. Except you."

"How can you still love me though?" she hesitated, "I'm not whole anymore."

I held back a laugh of disbelief, "Do you think I care about, Bella? I may have been raised in the early 1900's, but I hardly hold those beliefs anymore. Do you think I would be staying here with you every night in this bed if I held those beliefs?" she shook her head listlessly, "I could never stop loving, I never have stopped loving you and I never will stop loving you. No matter what could ever happen to you, whole or not, perfect of not."

Human or not, I admitted to myself.

"Is that true?" she asked, her voice weak and child like.

"Would I ever lie to you?" I regretted saying. She raised her eyebrow and smiled. She smiled.

"What will happen at the trial?" she asked, snuggling back into me.

"Well, later on today we will go into the police station and give our testimony. I won't be able to be with you then," I looked down at her to gauge her reaction. She blinked her eyes and looked away from me, not wanting me to see the fear of what would happen in her eyes, "And then at the trial, you'll be questioned by Newton's attorney, he's probably a court appointed attorney since the Newton's aren't extremely well off.

"You'll most likely have to repeat what happened. And then our lawyer will question you-"

"Wait, your lawyer?" she looked up at me. I grabbed her hand, which was fiddling with my collar and kissed her knuckles.

"You don't think our family would let you hire your own lawyer. We have the best lawyer there is, he's been around longer than Carlisle has," she smiled and again and rolled her head.

"Of course there are vampire lawyers. As long as it doesn't turn in to Wolfram & Hart," I scoffed at her reference to the demon law firm, "Any vampire celebrities? Like Antonio Banderas, although I suppose he isn't pale enough. Huh."

I smiled, delighted to her light heartedness coming back, "It's too hard to be a celebrity since there are always going to be pictures of you, people would catch on after a couple of generations," I twisted a lock of her still wet hair around my finger, "Anyway, back to the trial," I hated turning the conversation sour, but I knew I had to, "You'll be questioned by both lawyers as will Black and I, probably that Sam kid and some other kids at the party. Newton's lawyer might call a couple of character witnesses depending on his plea.

"It'd be absolutely moronic of him to testify as innocent, there's too much evidence against him. But they could use it to show that he would never do something like this," I spit out the words, "again.

"It shouldn't take too long. Everyone has the right to a fair and speedy trial. Especially you. You should get some sleep now, before your father calls or remembers that he didn't kick me out," she laughed and turned into me, I pulled her closer, cradling her against me. I never wanted to let her go.

"Sing to me, Edward. Please," she added in after though, she could order to me to do anything.

"Your lullaby?" I asked.

"Do you have anything new?"

"Yeah. I was writing something for you earlier today," I began to hum the new melody to her until I came to the end where I began to introduce new notes, darker ones hinting at the nights events. The dark notes led to lighter notes hinting at what was to come.

I felt her pulse slow down, she was asleep. I would stay with her till she awoke, praying to a god that she wouldn't have any nightmares.

We would have to go down to the station to report what happened soon. I looked down the battered angel in my arms, the peace and bliss on her face. The police could wait a few more hours.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Jacob's POV

**shattered-picture-frame:**  
thanks for that comment. I don't think I meant that he didn't know his name, but I see how someone could take that out of there. That sentence has been deleted. Hope no one else gets confused.

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**Innocence Lost; Chapter Eleven**

So, the night before you finally get up the guts to go to a party where Bella will be. You know she's still with Edward and you know you shouldn't meet up with her since you know it's just going to bring up drama.

Sam and a couple of the guys decide to follow you down to the beach just in case and you end up actually having some fun. There are girls there that seem completely in to, which is a nice change. Sure, some of them are pretty. But none of them are Bella.

Yeah, your still sour about her choosing the vampire over you.

After some time you smell a faint whiff of vampire, at first you tense but then realize it must just be Bella. You two talk for a little while before she decides to take a walk along the beach. You don't want to leave her but you know you shouldn't be pushy and your friendship is so tender at this point you don't want to break that final thread on the ribbon.

You go back to the party and resume socializing with the somewhat shallow girls there.

It's a few minutes before you start to hear screaming. You look for Sam and the others but you don't see any of them. The music gets turned up. You ignore the screams for a few more minutes before you smell the blood in the air.

The screams. The blood. You make the connection and begin to run.

You see Bella pale face against the cliff she had jumped off of months ago. Some guy has her pushed against the wall.

Your instincts want to take over. You want to morph and pounce and kill. But Sam's memories come back to you. You've seen what that can do to a human.

You pull the monster off of Bella and Sam takes him somewhere. Away. You don't care where. The only thing that matters to you at this moment is that Bella is safe. Almost. You wrap a blanket and jacket around her. Keeping her warm. You hold her close and she asks for him. For Edward.

A small part of you wants to burst knowing that you aren't the one that needs to comfort her anymore. That place has been taken by him again.

She dials his number on your cell, her eyes never looking at the phone but far off in the water. You inform the bloodsucker that he can come on the land.

He picks Bella up, they hug and you have to look away. You walk over to Sam, who has the belligerent boy-man in his restraint. He's yelling things. Horrible things at Bella. You clock his jaw with out meaning to. Sam tells you to leave. You want to argue back but know that in the long run it's better if you go home.

A crowd has gathered at the edge of the party

You want to kill him. Rip him apart.

You go home, refusing to explain to your father why you are so angry. So upset.

You blame yourself for this. You have all the power in the world. You could have stopped this. And yet you didn't.

The night goes on. You continue to blame yourself. You come up with a hundred million what if scenarios. You play out each one, wishing you had taken that route.

The next day Sam comes over and tired as you are he forces you to go down to the station to put in your testimony to save the small police force the hassle of coming down here.

You sit there, ignoring the stare of people. Ignoring what they are probably thinking. And then you see Charlie walk in. His hair not combed, his shirt not tucked in. Could you imagine waking up to find out that your daughter had been raped? And that as the police chief he had the power to stop something like that.

You slouch in your seat when you realize something: all of you guys had the power to stop this from happening. Charlie has a member of the police force, Edward as a vampire and a mind reader, you as the werewolf and even Bella's friend with the power to see the future.

And yet this still happened.

They pull you in and ask you a hundred questions. You lose count, you lose track. Your name. Your address. Your phone number. Your parents names. Jobs. Schools. How do you know Bella. When was the last time you talked to her.

And on and on it goes. You give all the information you can. Then they ask you about the bruise on the bastards face (okay, they used his name) and you stutter. You know that that was assault. You know you want to lie and say it was self defense, but other people were there. Bella wouldn't remember. Apparently the bastard had been high so his word was worth much. And Sam… would Sam lie for you?

Yes. He would.

Or you at least had to hope he would.

But Sam understood what you were feeling. He went through something similar with Emily. Okay, not that similar. But he understood the feeling that you had to protect someone no matter what the cost. Look what that had done to Emily.

Opportunity cost.

That's what it was all about.

**AN: **_Sorry it's such a short chapter, although I'm sure you guys are used to that by now. Expect the chapters to get a little fluffier from now. Happiness will ensue. I already have little scenes written out in my head for future chapters!_

_This was a fun POV to write, I only slipped once and went back to using 'I' I thought it was gonna be much harder._

_And yeah, the sentence about the ribbon is so on purpose!_

As you can imagine you won't be getting a chapter soon due to Eclipse. I will be going to the bookstore tomorrow and getting the book. I will read it on the bus, walk home reading it. Sit my butt down on the couch and read it… that book will not leave my hand until it's finished. Or I implode.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Bella's POV

**DEDICATED TO NICHOLE:**

I recently found another story that has the same exact plot as mine and nearly identical summaries… and so I totally wrote a review and read the reviews of this nameless persons story and Nichole had reviewed totally standing up for me. I wish that she had an account on here because her review of that story was so nice to me so that I would know she would get this heartfelt thanks… girl, if your reading this… well… you can have Edward and a cookie. Seriously.

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Author's Note:**  
**

_Okay, we're gonna start to see some time progression. Finally. You gotta realize these past like eleven chapters happen within about 12 HOURS! That's crazy insane._

_This fic is now AU. Duh. :D_

_Thanks to LoveCan'tFindMe for betaing this for me._

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**Innocence Lost; Chapter Twelve**

"No," I called out in the darkness. It hurt. The pressure. The pain.

"Bella," came a soothing voice in the distance, "Bella, open your eyes. It's just a dream," a topaz light shone in the distance. I walked towards it and opened my eyes.

Edward stared down at me, pushing my hair out of my face, wiping off my wet forehead.

"I know," I groaned. It had been a week since the event, despite my wishes Carlisle had ordered me to stay home. And although Carlisle was just my boyfriend's father to Charlie Carlisle was an all-knowing certified doctor.

Lucky for me my boyfriend came down with one of those terrible stress induced flues. My poor angel.

"Charlie is going to come in here and talk to you. Do you want me to hide in your closet?" I nodded and smiled.

"Bella?" came a knock at the door.

"Come in Dad," I got up stretching.

"Bella, I wanted to talk to you," I sighed. Here we go again. Charlie had originally wanted to stay home with me, make me breakfast in bed, let me have the remote for a change. I had ended up convincing him that I wanted some time to myself, to "self-reflect."

I hadn't done much of that at home, but the mandatory weekly therapy sessions were starting today and I was sure there would be much "self-reflection" done there. Part of me didn't want to go, the other part (the part that was ruled by Edward) did.

"Bella, I'm taking you off your grounding. Edward can come over whenever he wants," he looked uncomfortable about this, "you still have a curfew though. He has to be out of the house by ten."

"Dad, thank you," I stood up and hugged him.

"I just feel bad. Your home all alone until I come home at seven. I just think that maybe it would be nice for you to have someone over here you know and," he began to stutter.

"Dad, it's cool. Thank you."

"Okay, well. I'm going to go to work. I'll bring home something for dinner tonight."

"Okay."

Edward walked out of my closet and sat down next to me, "Your not breaking any rules now," I smiled.

"Like that stopped me before," he kissed my forehead and laid back down down on my bed and I snuggled up next to him, "Which book today?" he asked.

"You know which one," he picked up the tattered copy of _Romeo and Juliet_, ever since Edward had come down with the terrible flu we had read the story together, always stopping after Romeo and Juliet make love, so they get their happy ending.

"You're quiet today," Edward noted. It was Friday and I had woken up too early, Edward sat in my bed with me, letting me wake up.

"I have to go therapy this afternoon, Edward. Therapy is for people who are messed up or crazy," I sat up, straightening my clothes and bed hair.

"Well, you do know that your boyfriend is a vampire and yet you stay with him," he smirked.

"Forever and ever, Edward," I leaned back on his shoulder and he laid his head on top of mine. We sat there for a moment, Edward's cold skin against mine, his hands running up and down my bare arm. His cold arm felt nice against my semi-healed back.

"I promise."

"Like I'd accept anything less," I pulled back and looked up, expecting a long awaited kiss. He kissed my forehead.

"Breakfast time for the human," he smiled. He got up and reached for me, offering to help me downstairs. I remained stationary.

"Edward?" I asked, looking up at him and then at my feet swinging over the floorboards. I could now see the point where the loose floorboard was, the ground uneven there. I smiled at what use to be there, the pictures were now framed and the CD was constantly in my CD player.

"Yes, Bella?" he sat down next to me and smoothed out my hair.

Just spit it out, Bella. You started this, now you have to finish it.

"Why won't you kiss me?" I sputtered out.

He frowned, "I do, Bella."

I shook my head, "No. I mean, yeah, you do." Oh this was awkward, "You've kissed my forehead and my hands and my cheeks and my hair and," I laughed, "you've even kissed my back, you've kissed my neck. But you haven't kissed me. On my lips. On my mouth. A real kiss. Well, not a real kiss because you won't let us do that, but, well you know what I mean?" I looked up at him, "Right?"

He brushed my hair behind my ears, "Oh, Isabella. I never meant it as an insult," he wiped his hands on his pajama pants as if he was nervous and sweating. Was he nervous? About what? Why? "It's just. Sometime when things like _that_ happen," I knew what he meant, "There are issues about being intimate and I just didn't want to push those boundaries, Bella. I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Boundaries?" I scoffed, "Dear God, Edward! Are relationship is barely PG-13 do we have to downgrade it to a G?" he smiled wryly at me, "Edward, what happened, happened. I'm dealing with it. Really! I'm good at blocking out bad memories. I barely think about it. Okay, I still have bad dreams. And I'm going to start therapy this week. And we still have the trial to get through. Yeah, I still have the bruises and the scratches.

"Edward, I barely remember what happened now. I want things to return to normal. I want to go to school and make dinner and do homework and fail tests."

"You've never failed a test, Bella."

"Only cause you help me study. But, Edward, I just want to go back to before. Arguing about changing me and spending a forbidden Saturday in our meadow. I want you to kiss me until I faint again," I looked at him directly in the eye, I could see the lust flaring there.

He captured my lips in his, he placed his hands around my ears threading his fingers through my hair making a face out of sandwich out of my face. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, holding him closer then he had ever let me be before. His lips moved against mine, soft, gentle and cold all at the same time.

I breathed against his mouth his breath was sweet and filled my mouth. I shivered and felt my head start to get fuzzy, just the way I loved it to.

Edward began to pull back, knowing the signs that I would soon pass out in his arms, "No," I said, attempting to grab his collar and hold him there by it.

"Bella, show some self control," he smirked down at me and I tucked my head into his chest.

"You know I don't have any of that when it comes to you," I said softly, my fingers making hot trails on his neck.

He pulled my hand away from his neck and intertwined his fingers with mine, "I've noticed."

**_This isn't the end. I have prolly 3 or so more chapters in my head but I don't know if that will be the end. Always keep in mind that this was supposed to be a five chapter ficlet... if just kinda took over me._**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Edward's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Thirteen**

I was taken aback at Bella's confession. I had never thought me not kissing her would offend her so much, I was only doing it because I thought that was what would be best. It seemed that everything I tried to do for Bella to help or protect her only ended badly. Why couldn't I catch on?

I was in the sitting room of the small building, wearing another hole into my jeans while waiting for Bella. It was taking all my control to not listen in on the conversation between Bella and her therapist. I knew Bella wouldn't appreciate it and if she wanted me to know what was going on in the office she would tell me.

The door slowly opened and Bella walked holding her bag and sweatshirt against her chest, smiling. Her eyes still looked sad, but I could see that the smile was genuine. She went to go talk to the receptionist, setting up her next appointment. I noticed that she was standing up straighter, her leg bent behind her tapping a beat I matched with my hand.

"Hey," she walked over smiling. I thought I felt my stationary, dead heart flutter.

"That went well," I commented.

"Extraordinarily well," she sat her bag down on the floor and pulled her sweatshirt over her head. A bruise was still visible on her hip, "You know, if I had known that it was going to be that," she paused taking in a deep breath, waiting until she found the perfect word, "relaxing I would of started going a long time ago."

I kissed her cheek and threw her bag over my shoulder; she had been complaining about her back hurting in her sleep.

"I don't know how Charlie is paying for this though, I wish he would have let me," she complained. I kept quiet, Charlie wasn't paying for this. I was. Bella was right; there was no way Charlie could afford this therapist. Dr. Murin was the number one therapist I could take Bella to without anyone getting suspicious about the distance.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," I held her warm hand as we walked to the car. Her step seemed livelier and she wasn't dragging her feet sluggishly like she had been all week.

"What am I supposed to be worrying about, than?"

"Don't worry about anything, ever. Let me do that," I helped her into the car and raced over to the driver's side, sliding my hand back into hers.

"You don't have to do everything for me, Edward," she sounded exasperated.

I sighed and kissed her wrist, "No. I don't. But I want to. If you're not going to let me pay your college tuition or buy you a new car, let me make your life easier by worrying about things. Let me take that off your back, please, Bella?"

"You're impossible, Edward," she smiled, not answering my question.

"I don't try to be," I kissed her finger tips. I loved and hated the smell that was so strong at her pulse points, "We should do our school work tonight, finals are coming up," I said, ruining the moment.

Bella groaned, "Can't you do it for me? Or bribe the teachers to let me off? That would be making my life easier!" Her smile tempted me to do things Carlisle would be disappointed in.

"That wouldn't be right, Bella. No easy cope outs!" she sighed and shook her head around, spreading her scent through out the car, "What's so hard about indefinite integrals, anyway?" I added, trying to focus on anything other then the euphoric scent.

"You're kidding, right?"

I pulled into the Bella's driveway and helped her out of the car, "You're going to be a week behind on Monday if you don't do something today."

"But, what's the point, Edward? I'm going to repeat Senior year anyway," she unlocked the door and went towards the kitchen.

I was shocked at what she had said, did she really think that they were going to hold her back? Even if she didn't do any work this week her grades would still be passing by the end of the school year.

"Bella, they aren't going to hold you back. You can still pass Calc with a B- if you fail the next test," I tucked her hair behind her ears and held her face in between my hands. My heart wretched at moments like these. This was when I wanted more than anything to be able to get into her head.

She smirked and raised her eyebrows, "Edward, that's not what I meant. Once you change me," she enunciated, "I'll repeat Senior year lots of times," she smiled and looked away, I wonder what fleeting thought had crossed her head, "All of them with you, Edward."

I felt a growl build in my throat, I still wasn't sold on the idea of changing Bella.

"Let's not talk about that right now, alright? Let's just do some homework," I didn't want to argue with Bella. I didn't want her to stress about anything else. She didn't want to accept it but she was so emotionally delicate right now.

We laid on the floor in the living room and I ran through the basics of the current chapter with Bella. She simply didn't give herself enough credit, she was grasping the topic amazingly well.

"We talked about you today," Bella spilled out quickly, I had to do a double take in order to make sure I had heard her right.

"Really?" I asked carefully, making sure it was a combination of asking what they had talked about and all pointing out that she didn't have to tell me.

"Yeah. I mean, of course I didn't tell her that you're a vampire who constantly wants to bite me and drink my overly fragrant blood. But I did say that their were complications in our relationship and that Charlie totally hates you-"

"He doesn't hate me. He just wants what's best for you," I interrupted.

"You are what's best for me. I would know. And he does hate you," she rolled over using her text book as a pillow. Studying was over. "You don't know how he talk about you when you aren't here."

"I can read his mind," I said dryly.

"Oh," had she forgotten? "Well, I don't know why I really told you. I just thought you should know," she rolled back over and picked up her pencil again, I saw and smelt the blood come to her cheeks.

"Bella," I pulled her up so she was sitting across from me, "I'm always interested in what you're thinking about. You can always tell me if you think something's wrong. I want us to be perfect," I leaned forward and kissed her softly. When I pulled back all I saw was her frowny face, she rolled her eyes, "You're not telling me something."

"It's nothing," she pushed her hair over her shoulder and went back to work. I stood up and grabbed her arm, pulling her and dragging her back to my car, "Edward, ow," I lightened my grip on her arm and slowed down my pace, "Edward, where are you taking me?"

"We're going on a date, Bella."

She scoffed, "Edward, we've never been on a real date before, well, except the meadow, but I'm not sure that counts," I sat her down in the car, handing her the jacket I had grabbed on the way.

I pulled out of the drive way. Now I only had to figure out what a normal date constituted of.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Bella's POV

**ABBY:**

_Aw, thanks for the real review! If you did go and read the rest of my stories you'll find out I'm obsessed with real reviews. Thank you! I'm definitely going to try and take some of your advice and attempt to incorporate it the best that I can now… remember, Bella still has to go through the trial and talk about it during therapy._

_I love being told I got it wrong, is that sick or what?_

_Anyway, thanks for the real review and keep on reading!_

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_I really wrote myself into a corner. Fuck._

_

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_**Innocence Lost; Chapter 14**

"Edward? Where are you taking me?" we drove into town. I didn't like the mystery of it, the unknown. Why couldn't Edward just tell me where we were going? I bit my lip, trying to get them to stop trembling.

My heart was pounding against my rib cage and my fingers were grasping at the locked door, "Edward, please just tell me. I really don't like surprises."

I twisted my neck, trying to get the cold sweat to go away.

"Bella," he turned to me, slowing the car down considerably, "Oh, Bella," something clicked in his head, "I didn't think. I thought that this was going to be a good thing-"

"Where are we going?" I said between gasps of air. It wasn't enough. What was smothering me?

"To the movies. Bella, I'm sorry," Edward pulled over to the side of the road. I couldn't meet his eye but I felt it on the back of my neck. I curled my feet up on the seat, I tried to push the walls of the car away.

"No. I'm sorry. I didn't even mean to freak out. I don't know why I did it-" I shook my head, trying to clear my eyes of the tears that were rebelliously forming there.

"Bella, it was silly of me to not expect you to react like this," he was pulling me out of the car before I realized he had left my side.

I jumped in shock as his cold hands touched me; I hadn't expected him to be over there. I tried to get my jaw to stop shivering, as I looked him in the eye. It made my gut clench when I saw all the pain there. Why couldn't I just suck this up, whatever it was, and go to the movies like a normal couple?

I grasped at Edward's cold hand, the temperature was soothing against my hot skin.

"Bella, oh God," Edward said, he pulled me out of the car. I didn't like him being in control of my body. I shifted my shoulders out of his grasp and walked away leaning against the car.

"Please don't," I wheezed out. My breath kept on getting stuck while coming in, I could feel my throat becoming raw. I sat down on the cold wet ground and raked my hands through my hair, my scalp was wet with cold perspiration.

"Bella," Edward sat down in front of me, "You need to breathe. Can you look at me?" he said calmly. I looked up at him, his eyes were sheltered; he was hiding something from me. "Bella, try to breathe with me," he took an exaggerated breath which I tried to follow. But the air kept getting blocked half way through my throat.

"Bella. You're safe right now. I won't harm you. I won't let any harm come to you. Just breathe," another exaggerated breath. I tried once again and failed. I watched his coming towards me, he ran slow circles along my back and slowly helped me straighten up. He scooted himself behind me and hugged me, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"In, out," he took more exaggerated breaths. I copied him till finally I was breathing at a normal pace instead of large gulps of air.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so embarrassed. You probably think I'm insane right now," I got up from the ground, "Maybe you should just take me home. I won't blame you if you never talk to me again," I walked over to the car and sat down in the passenger seat, buckling myself up.

Edward came over and opened the door again slowly, waiting for me to make eye contact with him before bending down and holding my hands in my lap. I stared at him, wide-eyed. Was he going to break up with me, like I thought he should? "Bella, nothing in this world could stop me from being with you. If you were to tell me to go away I would, but you're the only thing in this world that could force me to something so horrendous. Do you know what a panic attack is?"

"That's something crazy people have. Edward, I'm not crazy. I can't be crazy. I still have to graduate."

"It's not something crazy people get. It's simply your bodies reaction to a stressful situation."

"Going to the movies isn't stressful, Edward," I said a little too harshly.

"But after what happened to you, sitting in the car with a man and not knowing where your going is subconsciously stressful. Carlisle told me to expect something like this, I suppose I just got ahead of myself," he stood up a little and kissed my salty, wet cheek, "Little steps from now on. If you still want to have an official date we could rent a movie, pick up some snacks for you. I've heard that chocolate makes women feel better," I smiled, feeling my grin hit my ears.

"Maybe some Ben & Jerry's would be good," I nodded my head and Edward was in the drivers seat before I opened my eyes again. I jumped in my seat, surprised again.

Edward slouched and frowned, "Sorry, Bella. No sudden movements, I'll try to remember."

We stopped by Videomania and rented _Romeo and Juliet _and _Withering Heights_, Edward rolled his eyes at my choices. After grabbing a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked and a container of cheese flavored popcorn. Edward again displayed his distaste in my choices, but went to the register to pay.

I dug into my back pocket to get my wallet but Edward stopped my hand, "I don't go Dutch on dates, Bella," he said mockingly as if offended.

I smiled gratefully and leaned against his chest, ignoring the stares from the cashier.

I leaned against Edward in the car, sleepy from the emotional trauma from earlier.

"Are you gonna be able to stay up through the movies? Alice called Charlie already, your gonna stay over tonight, she even moved the TV into my room," he said hopefully.

"Oh, once I get my system full of cookie dough and brownie batter I'll be fine," I kissed his shoulder and then looked up at his face, "Do you guys have spoons at your house?"

Edward laughed, "Yeah, Esme picked some up when she got into cooking last summer."

Last summer seemed like forever ago. And in some ways it was. The only dilemma in Edward and my relationship was the fact that he wanted to drain me of my blood.

How I wished for those simple days once again.

I didn't have to worry about trials and panic attacks or red headed vampires and vampire royalty. I just had to try to keep breathing as Edward kissed me good night. After all of this drama has passed I promised I would never complain again about stress.

Despite the 104 grams of sugar from the ice cream I still fell asleep before the second act of _Romeo and Juliet_.

* * *

**Semi-Important: **Okay, so this is the first time I've ever written about a true experience. I suffer from panic attacks whenever anything gets to stressful for me and yeah, they totally come at random times… and you think random thoughts about how you can't go crazy yet cause you have to graduate… after I re-read the scene I felt I didn't play up how it felt to go through a panic attack… but I didn't want it to be too dramatic. 

This was supposed to be a chapter involving Bella and Edward making out at the back of the theatre… but then she just had to go and ruin it… damn it, Bella.

Also, things are starting to get a little busier for me… I'm starting school in two weeks which involves finding a job and living by myself… I'm going to still try and give you guys at least one chapter a week… I will finish this story… if I could just find it's ending.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Edward's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Fifteen**

I set down the container of melted ice cream and cradled Bella in my arms, the blanket Alice had found me tucked underneath her. Her head shifted a bit as if trying to flip some hair out her eyes. I smoothed her hair onto the arm of the couch. Her heart sped up.

She sat up straight on the couch; her eyes wide open in terror.

"NO! Edward! Please help! Edward, where are you?!" she screamed. She began to thrash around, "Edward, please help me!"

_Edward, she's having a night terror. _

It was Carlisle.

_Just try and hold her, tell her it's okay. Agree with what ever she's saying._

"I'm here, Bella. Everything's going to be okay."

I pushed her arms to her sides, trying not to hurt her, "Edward! Edward! Don't let go of me, please!" she repeatedly called out my name. I rocked her back and forth, her arms pushed against my own. I wrapped my leg around hers so she would stop thrashing them around.

She took one last deep breath before she slowed down, "Edward?" she asked calmly.

"I'm here, Bella."

"How'd Mike get in here? Edward, why didn't you hear him coming? And what'd you do with him?" she looked around the room, her eyes were wet from tears and wide from fear.

"Bella, do you know what a night terror is?"

"Edward, please don't tell you killed Mike. I don't want to have to go on the run right now. School's almost over."

My heart throbbed at her terrorized confusion. I looked at her, tears were streaming down her face. Her nails dug into my cold skin. I wanted to cry with her, sob with her.

I wanted to hold her, tell her everything would be okay.

But I wasn't sure if it would be.

Maybe it was best if we ran away and I changed her, maybe she would forget. I pulled her against my chest, she was cold. I tucked the blanket around her again and stood up. We needed to talk to Carlisle.

"Edward. You can't just run from this."

"Carlisle?" I called out.

_Keep her calm, Edward. I'll be there in a moment. Don't disagree with her. She doesn't know it's not real._

"Edward! Please answer me!" Her arm had escaped the blanket and tugged on my cheek, pulling my focus down to her.

"Bella, it's going to be okay!" I bent down and kissed her wet cheeks, savoring the sweet taste of her tears. She moved her head and met my lips- they were soft and trembling.

**AN: **I'm sorry this chapter is so short. You have no idea how hard it was to write. I finally figured out that the reason I was having such a hard time writing this chapter was that it was supposed to be from Bella's point of view.

I could just rewrite the chapter from her point of view but (1) that would mess up my almost pattern of Bella-Edward-Bella and (2) I feel really guilty for taking so long to get you guys a chapter.

You can blame Solar Flare for making me take a break from writing this.

I am also starting college TODAY (as in I have to catch the bus in a half hour) so expect a little longer between updates. Hopefully that will be cleared up once I finish Solar Flare (it only has one more chapter.)


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Bella's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Sixteen**

"I hate this," I complained as Edward handed me the water bottle and pills.

"It will help you sleep through the night," he countered softly.

"I don't care, they make me feel terrible in the morning," I held the pills and bottle in my lap, hoping he wouldn't force me to take them.

He sat down on the bed next to me, pulling me into this lap, he breathed seductively over me and I gave up, "I don't like them either," he said, as if that would help, "You don't talk nearly as much when you're on them," he kissed the top of my head and scooted us down so that I was lying on the pillow.

We lied there a while, the silence soaking in around, my head becoming dizzy, my surroundings becoming fuzzy. I felt each muscle work together as my lungs inhaled and exhaled. Edward's cold breath blowing over my neck and he lolled me to sleep.

"I'm scared, Edward," I confided.

"Please don't be, dear Bella."

I turned around to face him, "What if the jury doesn't believe me? What if they think I'm lying?" I pushed away the medicines fog as I felt my tears fall on to the pillow.

"Bella, all the evidence is pointing against Newton. It'd be ridiculous for him to even claim that he's innocent. Besides, beautiful Bella, you're a terrible liar," he kissed me softly, waiting for me to respond before pulling away. He wasn't teasing, just making sure everything was okay, "Now can you please try and go to sleep?"

"Yeah," I whispered before snuggling into his stone cold chest and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Time to wake up, love," Edward said quietly against my cheek.

"No thank you," I mumbled, pushing the blanket he had slipped between him and me away, I tucked my head into his cold shoulder and planned to go to sleep again.

"Bella, you need to get up," his lips moved quickly down my cheek to my lips. I let out a blissful sigh and Edward laughed, "You have morning breath."

"Ugh." I turned away from him, "You're the one who was trying to kiss me awake."

"I like it," he lifted himself up and placed an awkward kiss on my lips. I smiled.

"Can we stay here all day?"

"Please don't tempt me!"

I smiled, "What could I do to tempt you?"

"Breathe," he groaned as he rubbed slow circles on my back. I shivered as I realized my shirt had crept up in the middle of the night and he was rubbing the warm bare skin of my back. I let out a shaky breath, "Tease."

"You're one to talk," I grabbed his hand and he smiled at me and moved it to my waist. I bit my lip and tried to hold back a smile.

"I'm glad we can still do this," Edward said softly. I loved the way his chin tapped my head each time he spoke.

"What do you mean, Edward? You've never touched me like this before. Do you remember when Alice dragged us to that lake? You were so terrified to touch me, Jasper threw us both in the lake in order to calm the- um, tension," Edward and I both laughed at the memory.

"I just meant that generally people in this situation are terrified of being intimate, I'm just glad that isn't the case for us."

I raised my eyebrow and hid another smile, "I don't think this," wrapped my hand around his and kept it on my bare waist, "is what they meant by intimate. Besides, Edward, I feel safe with you. I know you would never- could never do anything to hurt me."

"Not anymore, never again."

"Can't we just pretend those months don't exist?"

"I can't just ignore them, Bella."

"For me?" I looked up at him, pleading. His jaw clenched, "Please?" I hugged him, seeking the odd comfort I found only in his coldness.

"Anything for you, Isabella," he placed a kiss gently on my temple before getting out of the bed, "But right now we need to go down to the police station," I groaned and he tugged gently at my hands, helping me get out of bed, "Get dressed and we can go."

I begrudgingly took the outfit he had laid out for me and went to the bathroom. I looked terrible and instantly regretted looking in the mirror.

I walked out of the bathroom and leaned against Edward's chest, "Can I put a paper bag over my head?"

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella. It wasn't your fault," he ran his fingers through my hair but stopped when he reached a multitude of tangles.

"I look like crap, Edward. My face is puffy and red and my hair-ugh. And I don't even know why I care but no one is going to believe someone who looks like me!"

"I think you're beautiful, Bella. And whoever doesn't think so should be committed to a hospital," I groaned, "Do you want me to call Alice?"

I stood up quickly and shook my head, "No! Please, no! I really can't take that right now. She's too… peppy."

He smiled, "Come back here," he pulled my desk chair into the bathroom and began pulling my brush through my hair. I leaned my head down on the cool counter and soon enough I was back asleep.

* * *

"Wake up, Bella. We're at the station."

**_AN:_**_ I'm sorry. I'm a terrible person, blah, blah, blah. I know. I didn't expect college to take up this much time. This story will get finished though. I promise. It just might take some time. A few notes:_

_ I'm sorry this chapter is so choppy, it's just the way it came._

_Things will be speeding up soon, yay._

_This story is about to become extreme fiction because I have no idea how a rape case trial would work under the circumstances that it is. C: Kay? Cool cool. _


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Rosalie's POV

_Disclaimer: _If you recognize some of the dialogue it's because it's Meyer's. (163, Eclipse, HC.)

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Seventeen**

I sat in front of the courthouse, fidgeting with my slacks. I had sent Emmett in ahead of me; I wanted to do this by myself.

I watched Edward pull up with Bella in his Volvo. Her face broke my heart, no matter how much I disagreed with her; I still felt sympathy for her. I knew exactly what she was going through.

I watched as Edward sweetly held her, consoling her. I blocked out what they were saying for privacy but I couldn't help but watch. He held her, he let her cry, he never asked her to stop or reminded her that they needed to be in the courtroom.

I saw Bella lean back and nod and they walked towards the courthouse. Edward saw me and I cocked his head.

_I just want to talk to her. Please? I'll be nice; she should know she's not alone._

Edward nodded and whispered in Bella's ear, I saw the fear enter her eyes. Not the fear of having to talk to me (I hoped) but the fear of having to leave Edward's side. He whispered again and kissed her cheek, pulling his hand out of hers.

She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself, "Hi, Rosalie," she said, I could tell what she was wondering. I could probably count the number of times I had been relatively nice to her on one hand.

"Bella, I just wanted to talk to you before you went in there," I sat back down on the bench and patted the place next to me. She frowned but sat down, I turned towards her and braced myself. I had only told Emmett what had happened, Edward and Carlisle had been there. Jasper had figured it out from my emotions and told Alice.

"What is it?" she looked towards the glass door of the courthouse, Edward had gone into the next hallway and was no longer in her sight.

"Has Edward ever told you why I was changed?"

"No, just that you had your reasons for not wanting me to be changed," she looked at the clock above, "Shouldn't we be going?"

I noted the time on my watch and saw that time was running short, "I won't give you the whole story. But, when I was human I thought l loved someone very much. His name was Royce and he was perfect for me. One night when I was walking home from my friends house he was out with a group of friends, they were drunk," her face dropped, she knew what was coming, "They hurt me. A lot. Carlisle found me, of course and ended up changing me.

"I'm not going to lie and say I've forgotten about it or that I've forgiven them. You know, my record is almost as clean as Carlisle's. Better than Esme. A thousand times better than Edward's," I looked at her, fearing I had said to much. Had I ruined the picture of motherly perfection that Bella had seen in Esme? Had Edward told her of his lapse in morality?

Certainly, considering Newton was exactly the kind of people he drank from.

"I've never tasted human blood," I was proud of that, " I murdered them. I didn't shed their blood; I didn't want anything to do with them inside of me. Not again," I saw her shudder, "Sorry," she shook her head, understanding.

"I killed them, all of them. And two of Royce's guards. I was a bit dramatic, overly theatrical; I wore a wedding gown when I went to kill Royce. He was so terrified," I bit back a smile, remembering the satisfaction I had gotten at each crunch of bone, the bruises the walls and my fists had created, the way his entire body went limp as his wretched undeserving life left him. I hoped he went straight to hell.

"You're strong, Bella. And stubborn, you know, Edward says I'm tenacious but you may just give me a run for my money," she turned away, blushing from the odd compliment. "I know that Edward offered to kill Newton. If Emmett had been there for me, if Emmett had offered to kill those bastards for me, I wouldn't have been able to say no. And this," I pointed to the courthouse for clarification, "This is the right thing to do."

She leaned against the wall, "Do you regret killing them?"

I thought, wondering which answer I should give her, which answer she wanted and which answer Edward would want me to tell her.

"Honestly?" Bella prodded again.

I smiled, "No, but times were different then, Bella. They wouldn't have been prosecuted. It would have been my fault, somehow. They would have found an excuse. Besides, who would believe me? Just because I'm pretty doesn't mean I'm smart; people would have said I wanted attention. They would have said I had made it up."

"Do you think people in there are going to think I'm making this up?"

"I hope not, you and I are quite opposite. I love the attention, I love the spotlight. I love being the center of Emmett's world. You're quite different, you'll do anything to not have the attention on you. You've been downplaying how you've been feeling, haven't you?"

She nodded slowly, "Don't tell Edward, he would just worry though," she added quickly. I stared at her waiting for what she had said to click in her head. She laughed and it almost reached inside her, "You're right, I don't like the attention."

"If you ever need to talk, I'll listen. I'll even try to make it more about me if you want," I said, cautiously being sarcastic.

She laughed and this time it was real, her smile was copied in her eyes, "Thanks, Rose."

We got off the bench and stood their awkwardly, I was the first to reach forward. Bella met my hug, "Thank you, Rosalie. Really."

We walked arm and arm into the courthouse.

_So…. where'd this come from? I don't know. For those of you have read Sundown, you know I respect Rosalie. People don't give her enough credit. And I knew there was a reason she was such a bitch to Bella, I had suspected she had been hurt by someone. So, I'm writing what is now chapter 18 and I realize, OMG! Bella and Rose have something in common now. Rose and Bella should have a talk._

_So here ya go!_

**IMPORTANT! **

I have joined a writing challenge called NanoWrimo (National Novel Writing Month) which basically means I need to write an original novel by November 30. 50,000 words or 175 pages. So, don't expect much, if anything, from me during November or the beginning of December. Chapter 18 is almost finished and hopefully I can finish it by the end of the weekend, I'll post it in a few weeks. Maybe I can getup to Chapter 20 (where I've planned to end it, I'm OCD about even numbers) by Thursday.

I'll let you know when the story is online to read.


	18. chapter Eighteen: Edward's POV

**Innocence Lost; Chapter Eighteen**

I helped Bella out of the car, her body was still limp and groggy from the drugs Carlisle has prescribed for her. She leaned against the car, trying to delay her arrival.

"Bella," I said softly.

"Edward, I don't know if I can do this."

She looked so small and timid leaning against the car, rubbing her hands over her arms. Her hands clenched together, her stubby nails digging into the skin, "Bella, stop," I pulled hands apart and held them separately by my side.

"I don't need to be there, do I, Edward? Can't they do this with out me?"

"You need to be there, Bella. You can do this. I know you can. You're stronger than anyone knows," I pressed my lips to her cheek and she shuddered, suppressing tears. I held her closely, gently and waited for her to calm down. I knew it wouldn't look good if we were late, but I didn't have it in me to tell her to stop crying.

If I knew she wouldn't regret it later I would get her back in the car and take her right back home and never make her go to a court house ever again.

Her tears stopped and she pulled back, I let her, reluctantly. "Let's go," she said, a fake bravado in her voice. I let go of her left and we walked slowly towards the courtroom.

I saw Rosalie sitting on a bench outside and cocked my head, _I just want to talk to her. Please? I'll be nice; she should know she's not alone. _I nodded.

"Bella, Rose wants to talk to you, I'll be just inside," she shook her head and held on to my hand just a little tighter, "You'll be fine. Rosalie can protect you if anything were to go wrong. You don't need to be afraid of her," I chided, "she won't bite."

I watched Bella walk over to Rosalie and sit down on the bench. I waiting inside the courthouse, focusing on something other than the hush of voices outside the building and the growing tension of voices in the courtroom.

I wasn't able to hone in on anyone in the courtroom.

I waited, endlessly for Bella and Rosalie to come back in. Shock entered my system when I saw them walk in arm and arm, where had the two women I knew gone? Had a new member of the Volturi came and put them under some sort of weird mind control? And if so, what was the point of turning Rosalie and Bella into good friends?

"Are you okay?" I asked Bella.

"Yeah, I am," was the only answer I got. I went to go grab her other hand and set my confusion aside. We walked into the courtroom and the noise died down.

I tensed. The pack was sitting in the second row.

"Jasper had to leave, Bella," I said, barely moving my lips so only she could hear. I turned slightly and she saw her other monster friends sitting there, her lips twitched into a small, sad smile and nodded. I took her over the front bench and we sat down next to my family.

Alice frowned and scooted over for Rosalie, apparently she hadn't seen the life changing event that had happened outside the courthouse with Bella and Rose.

Charlie was standing up front with the judge, Mike behind the defendant's desk. he looked stoic. I swallowed back the sudden urge to kill him in front of everyone. It would be that hard. He would be dead before Bella even noticed I was gone. It would nice to have the satisfaction of giving him a painful death, but I knew that would take time. It wouldn't take very long to snap his neck and sit back down.

Only my family would know.

Bella's small warm hand was the only thing holding me back; I knew she didn't want me to kill him. And for Bella, I would do anything.

As the trial began Bella's hand began to clench and unfold in mine. I desperately wished that Jasper was here.

_Do you want me to ask him to sit outside? _Alice asked. I nodded my head and I saw her flip open her cell phone, texting Jasper.

The lawyers in front of us ran through the trial, I began to feel Bella become more relaxed. Thank you, Jasper.

"Mr. Parent, how does your client plead?" the judge asked. I scanned the lawyers mind quickly, relief surged through me.

"Guilty."

Bella sighed and her muscles relaxed even further.

"We will have a fifteen minute recess, after we will discuss the sentence."

We stood up, my family gave Bella hugs. I began to lead her out of the courtroom when she pulled back on my arm, "Wait, I need to do something. Just wait by the door?" My confusion grew but I went to the door and waited for her, I cringed as Jacob walked by her and engulfed in a large hug.

"I'm happy for you, Bella," he kissed her cheek and held tightly to the nearby bench.

"I'm happy too," I couldn't see her face, but I could hear the smile in her voice.

_You're not too bad, leech, I think you're good for her. Somehow. Bella's weird that way._ He thought as he walked out of the room, I smiled and rolled my eyes. Another person to add to the list of those against my aversion of continuing my pursuit of Bella.

But, Bella was weird.

She leaned over the railing and tapped Newton's lawyer on the shoulder, "Could I talk to Mike?" she asked, timidly. I fought the urge to go up and take her out of the courtroom; I didn't want her talking to him. I didn't want him talking to her. I wasn't even found of the idea of them being on the same continent let alone the same room together.

"Sure, we have to leave soon. I shouldn't even be letting you talk, but it's not going to change much of anything now, is it?" I could tell from his mind that he was disgruntled that he had lost the case in a sense.

"Mike?"

"Bella."

"Thank you."

Mike seemed taken aback Bella's words. I was taken aback by them. The lawyer, who was sorting through papers pretending not to listen was taken aback.

"I, um, just wanted to thank you for not drawing this out anymore than it needed to be," I could tell from Bella's voice that she was beginning to feel awkward and was trying to find a way out of the situation.

"It's okay, Bella. I don't want to hurt you anymore. You need your happy ending," he looked behind her at me, "You deserve that."

Bella nodded and turned around, smiling at me. She took hold of my hand, "Can we find something to eat? I'm kinda hungry."

* * *

**AN: **I know I said I was going to make you wait but I finished the chapter and I'm almost done with the next one, maybe you'll see that one on Wednesday? c: 


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Bella's POV

**Disclaimer: **Again, certain words and ideas were taken from Meyer's third book. It worked really well here. (Eclipse, 438-439, HC)

**Innocence Lost; Chapter 19**

I smiled at my reflection. All traces of bruising and scratches had disappeared; my face was no longer dull or pale. Edward frequently reminded me of the blush that had returned. The dark circles were still there if you looked closely and my eyes would always hold the horrible wisdom I had gained.

"Bella, are you ready?" Edward knocked on the bathroom door and I slid my small pile of cosmetics into the drawer and unlocked the door. He opened it up slowly and smiled at me, "Are you ready?" he asked, it was another question entirely.

After the trial was over, I took another two weeks off of school. Guilt raged inside of me, knowing that I had sent someone to jail for five years. Knowing that because Mike made one mistake he wouldn't graduate with his class, he wouldn't go to college. And even after he got out of jail he would be on probation for another five years and then there were the thousands of hours of community service, therapy and anger management classes he would have to go through.

Afterwards, I wasn't sure if I did the right thing.

Of course, one smile from my vampire family reminded me I did. Knowing that Rosalie, someone who hated my guts, looked up to me (figuratively, of course) for something I did was enough to keep me going. Knowing that Edward and everyone else admired me for my courage and determination was wonderful. And I had to rely on that.

The weekend after Edward had taken me out on a date. Our first real, actual date. And, I'm happy to say, there were no panic attacks. We did every single cliché date thing Edward could think of, he pulled in front of my house in a convertible, I didn't ask where it came from. I just smiled, grateful that it wasn't raining.

We drove into Port Angeles where he took me to a small diner and we sat there, playing footsie under the table while I ate my burger and fries. Every so often he commented on how glad he was that my appetite had returned. So, was I. I had forgotten how much I missed fries and shakes.

"I don't know how you can stand that," he said, cringing for the third time as I dipped my fry in my strawberry milkshake.

"It's good, sweet and salty. Two things that don't mix, but somehow work perfectly together," I smiled, "Like us," I added.

"We do work perfectly, don't we," he smiled, I hadn't seen him smile so much in one night. I suppose he was just glad that I was finally getting back to my normally scheduled program. I continued eating, eating fry after fry, "Um, Bella."

"Yeah," I asked, wary of the way his voice sounded.

"Um," he tucked his hand in his pocket, "I just wanted to um… I thought that after everything you… um…"

"Just spit it out, Edward."

"I wanted to give this to you," he pulled a thin chain out of his pocket, "It was my mother's so don't you dare go on about me spending money on you. I wanted to give this to you in a much nicer restaurant but you wouldn't let me take you anywhere besides here-"

"I told you, I don't need expe-"

"I know, I'm okay with it. I just- it was my mother's and I thought it was good representation of the both of us," he took my hand and placed the chain in it, on the end of it was heart-shaped crystal. It sparkled in the dirty light of the diner, just like Edward did in the sunlight. I smiled, "It's hard and cold and silent like my own heart, but it's strong and indestructible like yours."

I smiled-wait._Indestructible? _Edward saw my horror struck face and covered my mouth with his cold fingers, "I spent no money on this, you can't argue with me," before I could say anything more he took the chain from my hand and placed it around my neck. He looked at the bauble, admiring it. "It's perfect."

I kissed his cheek, "Thank you, really. It is perfect."

I finished my meal and we went back to the car, "Where are we going now?"

"Where every teen couple goes on a date."

I thought, sitting back in the car. I thought long and hard of the few references to normal teen dating I knew. The only thing I could come up with was the guy giving the girl his class ring or lettermen jacket.

We came up to the Port Angeles Drive-In and I smiled, "Can we park in the back and steam up the windows?"

Edward's jaw flexed tightly, but I saw his lips twitch into a smile. I was pushing boundaries again, he knew I was feeling better.

"Maybe."

We parked in the back and Edward turned the car off, he wrapped his jacket and a blanket around me before pulling me close to him.

I can't remember one thing about that movie, all I remember is how safe I felt wrapped in the Edward-made cocoon. Half way through not paying attention to the movie he relented and began kissing me, teasing me. Never letting me past the fine line he drew so long ago. It was even worse since my arms were wrapped tightly against me by the blanket.

Each time he pulled back, I giggled at the windows. They were completely fogged over, "You know, that's just you. My breath isn't warm enough to do that," Edward said breathlessly as he trailed a finger through the fog. I blushed like never before and turned away from him, not wanting Edward to see my embarrassment. He chuckled, seeing this, "You know, I might use this car from now on, you can't imagine how much it's going to smell like you after tonight."

I looked up and he was smiling wickedly down at me, he lowered himself, his cold lips right next to my ear. I shivered, "The movies over. We should get you home."

"You're evil," I said as he sat up and turned the car back on.

"I am an immortal creature of the night."

"Are you ready?" Edward asked again, I shook myself out of my reverie, "We don't have to go to school if you're not ready."

"I am," I tucked the envelope of homework into my bag and walked out to the car with Edward, "I really am. Besides," I grabbed his hand, "I don't want to miss the last two weeks of my Senior Year!"

I managed to walk myself to the car without tripping. Edward drove below his normal speed, as if he was waiting for me to change my mind. I wasn't going to. I was certain I wasn't going to. Until he pulled into the parking lot.

Every single head turned as Edward parked his Volvo (I told him I wouldn't let him stay the night with me till I was changed if he drove his convertible to school, I don't know if he knew I was lying.)

"People are staring," I said cautiously.

"They're going to. Just ignore them. It's a small school, they have nothing better to do than to get into other people's business."

"I didn't know people were going to be staring," I felt my throat begin to tighten; my mind was leaving my body. I heard Edward's seat scoot back and my seat belt unbuckle, I was in his lap, breathing into his neck, his hands were rubbing circles on my back.

"In, out, in, out," he said slowly. I fell into the same rhythm as his breathing, I heard the bell ring.

"We're going to be late."

"That was ten minute bell, we'll be fine. Are you all better? Are you sure you want to do this?" I nodded against his shoulder.

"I have to. I can't run away from things for forever," I brought the diamond charm up to his eyes, "I'm strong, remember?"

"Stronger than anyone," his eyes were full of love and admiration.

He set me back in my seat and then helped me out of the car, we walked slowly through the halls, my eyes cast down at the floor ignoring the probing eyes. Edward put our books in our locker and we continued our silent walk down to the classroom.

We sat in the back of the classrooms and Edward held my hand. People stopped staring by lunch.

"Bella, what do you think about a shopping trip this weekend? Graduation is next week, you have to wear something nice," Alice asked. Things really were getting back to normal.

I couldn't help myself, I groaned, "I don't know, Alice. Can't you just go and pick something out for me? You're just going to do that anyway."

She looked away from me, innocently, "You're input matters, Bella," even she didn't believe her lie, "Really."

I leaned against Edward, hoping he would bail me out, "I think it would be good for you, Bella."

I sighed, giving in, "Fine. Nothing expensive. And I'm paying for something."

"Of course, Bella," Alice smiled sweetly, "You can pay for your lunch."

I rolled my eyes but continued eating.

I took a deep breath, there were only two more classes in the day and Edward wasn't in either of them. He walked me to my class as usual and when I went to give him a kiss he opened the door for me, I was confused but I followed. The classroom was still empty and I realized how early we had left the cafetertia.

He sat down in a desk in the back, I stayed by the door, "Do you prefer to sit in the front in Calc?"

"Edward, you're not in this class with me."

"I know, Bella, I went to the office last week and had my schedule changed around a bit. I didn't want you to have to be alone."

I sat down in a desk in the front and Edward came up to sit next to me, "No," I said.

"What?" he looked genuinely confused.

"No. I need to be able to do this by myself. You can't imagine how much I appreciate what you have been doing for me. But, at some point I'm going to have to do something with out you, go somewhere without you. I think I should start now."

Edward looked at me and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, "How'd you get so strong?"

I took his hand and kissed the inside of his palm, "I run with vampires, it was bound to wear off sometime."

"You don't run with us, Bella. You sit in my arms and I run."

"And that's where I like it, you keep me strong, Edward. I couldn't have done any of this without you."

"I don't know about that, Bella."

"I do. And when have I ever been wrong, Edward?"

"Never," he whispered against my lips. He kissed me softly and got his backpack and left.

I took a deep breath, taking in the surroundings of the empty classroom. It was the first time in a long time I had been anywhere without Edward, even when I was getting ready for school in the bathroom at home he was right across the hall in my room. And in the locker room at school I knew he was right outside, ready to take place as my partner in tennis.

But, now I was on my own, I knew Edward was just across the hall. He would be listening in to my classmate's thoughts just waiting to come and save me.

But, I think I can save myself now.

* * *

**AN: **OMG you guys! How fricking hard was that write! Okay, fine, it was really easy… but, the end was so hard. It's gonna be hard to let this go. I wanna hit 400 reviews you guys. I don't think I've ever really asked for reviews… but I just want them now. I know you can do it. If a tenth of you that read chapter 18 (as of Monday night) had reviewed, I could have over 400 reviews right now and you would have a very happy writer. But, alas, you have not fulfilled your OCD writer's needs… and I have nothing to threaten you with besides holding the epilogue hostage longer! 

I'll put a nice, long, well thought out author's note in the epilogue.

c:


	20. Epilogue: Bella's POV

**Innocence Lost; Epilogue**

"Bella! That's not fair!" Edward complained as he held me to his chest, resisting my struggle.

"It is too fair, I promised Alice I would go shopping with her today!"

"No! I'm sure we can work something out," he pulled the covers back over us and began kissing designs on my neck again, "Alice," he called out, "if you leave Bella with me I'll buy you a shiny car," his fingers slipped between the waist band of my sweats.

"Nope," Alice called out from the hallway.

"Oh! I'll buy you a mall! Your own mall! Your own Chanel store? All the Tiffany jewelry in the world?" he continued, his kisses pushed against the neck of the shirt I was wearing.

"Nope," she giggled.

"You know Edward, as romantic as it is that you're currently bargaining for me with Alice, I'm just not in the mood anymore, not with you talking to Alice at the same time," I pouted, "I feel like you're two timing me."

Edward rolled his eyes, he knew I was joking, "God, look at that lip," he stared at my bottom lip, puffed out and pouty. His lips kissed it, "Can I convince you to stay home? Rebel against Alice."

I pulled out from his kiss, "Nope!" I drew upon my newborn power and slipped out from underneath him. I went to our closet and began looking through the clothes for something to wear. When I came back out from the closet I had never seen Edward look so forlorn, "Who ran over your dog?" I began getting dressed.

"It wasn't my dog, Isabella. It was my heart. And it was done by the most beautiful girl in the world. She came around 12 years ago and stole it from me, she pumped it back to life and has had control over it ever since. And right now, she doesn't know that she's breaking it."

I smiled sadly at him, he looked tragic lying there in the bed, the blankets precariously hung against his hips, "I think the girl does know. And maybe the girl will bring him home something from her shopping trip."

"But I don't want anything. Just you," he said, the want completely obvious in his voice, "And the bed," he added in afterthought.

"What about this?" I asked, throwing over the magazine Alice had given me full of lingerie I would never think of wearing. I smiled as Edward's eyes glazed over with lust.

"All of it! All of it! I'll buy you all of it!"

"Maybe, if you're a really good boy, I'll come home with something," he closed his eyes, "And no looking into Alice's mind to see what I'm going to buy!"

He groaned, "You're no fun."

"That's not what you thought last night. Or the day before. Or the night before," I grinned, trailing off.

After only fifteen more minutes of good-byes Alice and I were out of the door to Seattle's shopping center, "What time will we be home?" I asked Alice after the fifth text in the past hour from Edward.

"Some time today," she said giddily. She was enjoying Edward's torture along with me, although for entirely different reasons.

"I keep telling him that, he's threatening to get in his car and kidnap me back from you."

"That wouldn't be wise," Alice said already knowing the outcome.

We sat there in the car, the music floating gently in the background of her comfortable car.

"Were Jasper and you like this in the beginning?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Was it impossible for you to keep your hands off each other?" if I still had human blood flowing through me I would have been blushing, but my face stayed cool.

"I think we were similar to you. You have to remember, Bella, Edward lived with all of us for a good fifty years. I mean, living in the same house with Rose and Emmett would be bad enough. But having two other vampire couples around was pretty hard on him. Vampires are naturally more easily aroused; we enjoy the physical longevity our condition allows us. Besides, most of us are stuck as over-hormonal teenagers, teens that don't need to worry about getting pregnant or some STD. We take advantage of that.

"You and Edward are always going to feel a pull for each other. You're always going to feel that desperate need for something else, the sensation that says without him you're missing something.

"You'll learn to control it, ignore it, you'll let it dim. It's nice, when you let it all go, it's just as powerful as ever. People say that if you wait till that special someone for your first time, it's wonderful, the feeling you get when you let it all go, when all that pent up emotion is released… it's always like that for us. For our kind."

My hand played with the door handle, "Don't even think about it, Bella!"

I groaned.

"Two, three hours of shopping. That's it. I promise!"

* * *

We walked around the mall arm in arm, carrying an extreme amount of bags in our free hands. We knew we were going to have to stop soon, Alice frowned, "Are you up for one more store?"

"Yeah, I guess," I was getting tired. Not tired like my feet hurt, but tired of the gnawing sensation that Edward was home waiting for me. It was worse than the sound of every bloody pulse beating around me.

Alice and I split up in the next store, "Bella?"

I turned around, frowning at the person who had called out my name. I knew that voice, if I still slept it would be the voice that would haunt my nightmares.

"Mike."

"Bella, how are you?" Mike asked. He looked awful, too thin from his time in prison and the stress caused by probation.

"I'm fine. How are you?" was that an okay question to ask. Where the hell was Alice?

"Okay. You look great. You look like your still in high school. You are 28, right?"

"Heh. Yeah, really good genes I guess. My mom still looks young as well," I hadn't even thought that going to Seattle would bring up old memories. I hadn't thought that I would run in to anyone I knew.

And why hadn't Alice seen this?

"Are you and Edward still together?"

"Yeah," I held up my left hand, showing off the rock Edward had placed on it eleven years ago.

"Whoa! Congratulations, although I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. You two always were perfect for each other," he looked down at his intertwined hands, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"Yeah. Um, thank you. Are you doing okay? With everything."

He took awhile to answer, my eyes shifted over his shoulder trying to find Alice, trying to find my escape, "I think so. I still have community service and therapy to go to. But, I'm doing okay. I'm living on my own now, I was in a rehabilitation center during my parole. I'm doing okay."

"That's good," Alice, where are you?

"I'm glad you're happy."

I hadn't said that. But, even through my stressful glances around the store I guess it was obvious. I smiled, ease floating back into me and my world returning to normal, "So am I."

* * *

**A Final Author's Note!**

Kay, there ya go. It was fast, but it was what I wanted to achieve.

If I had known that withholding chapters would get me reviews I would have done that the entire time. 40 reviews for chapter 19 you guys! That's crazy.

_In December I will be editing this story._ I'll be taking down almost all the chapters and reposting them, prolly five chapters at a time. If you want to read the changes (there might be some added scenes) then keep this story on Story Alert, however if you don't want to read the changes, take it off Story Alert, but leave me on Author Alert!

After November _I will be starting a new Jake/Bella fic_, hopefully. And maybe continuing Solar Flare.

During November I will be writing my first original novel. So excited!

(Don't you love the backwards timeline?)

This story has meant a lot to me. It originally started out as a maybe five chapter story that I was only writing to challenge myself on writing Edward's POV. But then it took off. And it took over. This story was so far from what my own life has been like (almost) so it was hard writing even Bella's POV. And, although it was never my intention, I wrote a story where Bella had a backbone. Most people want prince charming to come wake them up and rescue them, Bella loves her prince charming, but I don't believe she would rely on him.

"_I'd always scorned the stories where the princess hung around, waiting to be rescued: Sleeping Beauty, spare me! Tell the stupid little wuss to wake up and sort the wicked little fairy out herself._" (Sunshine, Robin McKinely, p.331)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and especially to everyone who has read this story from the beginning, when it had zero reviews and a long authors note for a first chapter. And thank you to everyone who sat at their computer for two hours reading all nineteen chapters in one sitting. I never thought anyone would ever do that for my story, ya'll rock.

And I promise if I ever come up with a plot for a sequel I'll post it, until then…

not done baking

Samantha c:


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